Things Aren't Always As They Seem

The other day I was sent a story about a teacher and a student she encounters. I'm not sure whether or not the story is real, but I could care less. The story was eerily similar to a lot of what we try to promote and if nothing else it just puts a smile on your face and warms your entire core. I think it's important to not allow ourselves to just brush this story off as fairytale or impossible. Don't you think a story like this is a lot more believable then a story of high school Vampires? Yet this day and age we have more people talking about the possibility of actual vampires then we have talking about this connection between to individuals, which probably takes place everyday around the world. Too bad it's not Hollywood enough!


"As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat,was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big 'F' at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.
Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... He is a joy to be around..'

His second grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle.'
 
His third grade teacher wrote, 'His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken.'
 
Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class.'

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume.. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. 
Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, 'Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to.'

After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded.. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her 'teacher's pets..'

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.
 
Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.
 
Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.
 
Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.
 
The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, 'Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me.. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference.'
 
Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back.. She said, 'Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you.'


Now I know the ending definitely sounds a bit like an after-school special, but based on the way society is currently, I think I'd much rather focus my attention on a fairytale such as this, then some of the reality that we face.

Let's all do our best to give people the benefit of the doubt, it may just surprise you the result!

Have a great day!

The Ego - part 1

In truth I have been avoiding this subject for a very long time and for good reason. The ego is such an incredibly vast and rather unknown or speculated subject and yet I am now forced to share my thoughts on this incredible piece of life saving and life threatening equipment we all have at our disposal.

As you may have already noticed this is going to be Part 1 of the Ego post and that is because I want to focus on just 2 aspects of the ego: Negative & Positive. In keeping with the way I was raised I figure we will start with the bad news and end with the good! To be clear, I believe my own ego has served me well and not so well over the years and I also believe that the more we can be aware of this tricky little guy, the better prepared we are to deal with him.

I also mentioned that I avoided this subject and that now I am forced to share. The reason is simple. As is typically the case with me, I had an epiphany of sorts or the Universe just decided to "tell" me, it was time. The way this happened is that I was shown the purest example of how dangerous and glorious the ego can be and thus I am forced to share. What's that saying we grew up with...oh yeah, "Sharing is caring!" How did we forget that one? Nowadays it's almost like its a disease to share. I don't want to hear your problems and you definitely don't want to hear mine! Why not??? Maybe if we started talking with others about our problems and they in turn did the same, maybe we would actually solve a few more problems I'm thinking?? Mathematically speaking, I'm pretty certain the odds of success grow exponentially when we try something as opposed to not trying at all. What's that golf saying? "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." Sounds pretty comparable to me.

Now back to the ego and the event which propelled me to write this post. I watched a man literally cost himself and his business hundreds of thousands of dollars all because he couldn't get his ego in check. We've all heard "you can't have your cake and eat it to", well I can honestly tell you I have tried everything in my power to prove this statement false. So far, I haven't been able to accomplish that goal. This I believe is a saying that is directly linked to the workings of our ego. For it's my ego that tells me I can get the deal I want for $1000 and then its my ego that adds, "well I bet I can get that attractive salesperson to sleep with me too". As soon as I try to put that part of the plan into effect, I blow the whole deal. Now obviously there are many other ways that scene could have played out, but I was using this as a very general example.

If we could actually separate our true thoughts and feelings from those of our ego, an amazing thing can happen. It's almost as if you watch a scene from a movie play out and your conscious mind can literally map out what will happen based on what your ego does and how you decide to follow it. The negative Ego is responsible for so much hurt, pain and wrong doing it's unreal. The most dangerous aspect of our Ego is that it leads us to believe that we are individuals and not part of a "Super team" of sorts. Nonsense. We were made to work together, live together, celebrate together and so on. Notice how the main theme in all that was "together"? We were not made to be by ourselves, we were made to come together and thrive as a group, but this can not be done when negative ego is present.

 I work in the youth charity industry and I can honestly tell you how sad this industry is because the individuals in charge are consumed by ego and therefore the work that should be done is not getting done because of these egotistical behaviors. There are thousands upon thousands of youth charities alone and if we think about this again from a math stand point, it's pretty startling. If everyday thousands of charitable organizations are all spending the majority of their time, resources and energy raising money & creating awareness for the cause, how are the youth getting what these charities have established themselves for in the first place?

Why is it that if there are only 10 youth charities in let's say, Ontario, Canada, they are all fighting each other for the same amount of money? Wouldn't it make sense that if all 10 of these organizations were truly established in order to help youth that they would come together and all form a team like, "The Justice League" or "The Avengers"? I know it's a crazy analogy, but could you imagine if Superman and Batman started to fight over who saved more people? Or if Wonder Woman and Hawk-girl started to fight over who was prettier and who had a better body? I'm sure I could provide you with plenty of somewhat humorous comparisons, but hopefully my point doesn't get lost. If the Superheroes were driven by Ego very little "saving & rescuing" would be done as it would be replaced by "arguments & pissing contests" or maybe they would just realize how superior they all are and they'd just rule the world instead of protecting it. All this just because of ego?

Every kid in the world would stand up and freak out at their televisions if the superheroes ever behaved in the manners I just described, so why as regular, plain humans do we get a free pass? Maybe we haven't received a free pass and our children have been yelling at us for years to wake up! What do we do with those kids??? We put them on a prescription pill and tell them they have ADD or ADHD and they don't deal well with authority! Guess what everyone, that is your EGO talking and that is why are EGO can be so dangerous! Our ego's allow us to dismiss what others think or say because we are superior. Our ego's cause us to stop building a school for the homeless because we can't decide whose name goes up in gold letters to let the world know who built the school?? Seriously?!?! Ego's keep organizations with the same missions & goals apart because instead of sharing the money and working as a team, we prefer to be "The One". The only place where there is the "One" is in movies. Nothing in this world is singular. Everything and everyone is connected. So even if there was the idea of "The One", that "One" would need a lot of support from a lot of individuals that weren't the "One". See what I'm saying? If the One needs millions in order to accomplish his or her goals, then guess what, THEY ARE NOT THE ONE, THEY ARE THE MILLION AND ONE!!!

I'm here to help all youth and I try everyday to put my negative ego in check. I am asking any and all individuals who want to see change to stop picking and choosing. Stop supporting 3 different charities per year and then 3 new ones every year after and actually put your efforts into one. One that you believe in and one where you see the direct results of the efforts you put in. If we could all put our egos in check and realize that we don't have to be the one person in the room who is supporting the best and most worth while charity, we just all have to be the ones that are supporting a charity that does what it promises. Maybe enough of giving money, and I mean trillions of dollars, to Cancer research when we know the money isn't going to cancer research, it's going to paying for those amazing lottery prizes and all those executives salaries!! Let's give money to someone in our backyard who actually shows up in our backyard and does the promised work.

As always I thank you for entertaining my thoughts and opinions and if there is anything you'd like to add, share or comment on, please do so. If you enjoyed what you read, please do your best to share it.

Perception Re-visited

Way back when I first began this journey on my true life path, I posted a blog titled "Perception". It was originally posted April 29/2012 and needless to say, a lot has changed for me and a lot has probably changed for all of you and the world we inhabit together. Due largely in part to the phenomenon just mentioned and of course thanks to a few recent happenings, I am once again "moved" to re-visit this most amazing topic of perception. All things being equal, I could probably post about perception daily as obviously it controls each and every one of us and what we do, see and think. Make no mistake about it, Perception is reality and if we can gain control over our perception, just imagine how amazing life could be?

I know you've heard it before and I'm certain that you've blown it off before too, because so have I, but it really is this simple. If I open my eyes in the morning and I immediately notice a foot of new fallen snow, I automatically have two ways of looking at it. I could have a positive outlook and I could have a negative outlook, but the CHOICE is mine! Nobody else, including God, has the ability to choose for YOU!!! It's me alone who looks at the snow and starts grumbling about all the shoveling, slush, traffic, etc., when I could look at the same snow and see beauty. I could see an opportunity to get a good physical workout without having to sit in a gym and lift weights, all while being surrounded by the beauty of the snow storm, I could see it as an awesome way to bring my family together and go sledding or we could build a snow fort. Last but not least, anything I do in the snow can be capped off by coming inside for a warm cup of Cocoa.

It may seem ridiculous and so simple and maybe that's why so many of us choose to write it off as not being possible. All it takes is training, just like anything else you want to incorporate into your daily routine. If I want to eat healthier it isn't going to happen over night and I better believe that my taste buds and brain waves are not going to take to kindly to the massive change either. If you don't believe it, just try asking a child to trade chocolate for a carrot and see how they react. That is essentially what goes on inside for adults, but we don't see it. Even if you think that because you are an adult you can reason with yourself better, you're only part right. While as an adult you may find it easier to choose the carrot over chocolate, it will still take work! Put it to the test, try to add the simplest thing into your daily routine and keep track of how many times you forget or don't do it, or....But don't get discouraged. Keep at it and eventually if you want it bad enough it will happen.

Even as I have undertaken this journey I still have many moments of doubt and while in the past I would have let it get the better of me, I now see it more clearly and it almost makes me smile to know I dance around the doubt and make it explode before my very eyes. I was so close to so many big things in the past and I let my fears and doubts change my perception and from that moment I was doomed. This time around I am in control of my perception and thus my reality. This time I asked the Universe and everyone around me to support my dreams, to assist me in the realization of those dreams and to ensure that I continue to have the strength to push forward no matter the obstacles I may face. I decided that whatever was going to come my way while on this current path, that I would face it head on and NEVER leave this path no matter what! That is the difference and I can tell you that the Universe and everyone around me has responded with a massive "HELL YA", we are here for you!

The proof would have to be my latest venture, which I am so excited to share with you all. The Universe told an amazing man named Joe Arko that he had to reach out to me and he did. What has transpired over the last couple of weeks is nothing short of watching the miracle of life literally unfold before your very eyes. It's like the puzzle you have been working on your whole life finally became clear. We are embarking on our first annual Hockey For Heroes Fundraiser and I am so blessed because I asked that I be given the chance to shine, and show what I am capable of if given the opportunity. Joe has provided me with this opportunity and I will rise to the occasion because I am the one who dedicated myself to all of this, I asked for all of this and now I'm going to execute it. Sounds like any other good blueprint if you ask me.

I hope everyone out there can begin to take control of their perception and truly see how amazing life can be. If you need assistance or are curious to see if it's even possible to achieve such things, I am willing to offer Free 45 minute consults until the end of March/2014 to anyone who is ready to start getting what they truly want. I am ready to help as many people as I can. Take advantage of this truly amazing offer and contact us if you would like to begin the newest and best chapter of your life!!

I can be reached at Joshua@JoshuaStern.ca for anyone who would like to see what a life coach can bring to the table!

Much love to you all.

Words to Remember!

It's quite rare that I decide to post another persons words, but I was so moved this morning that I just had to share.

According to the post I found it said that George Carlin is responsible for these words, but upon further research it appears as if they may belong to another. Regardless of who they belong to, and in ways I have been saying all this for a couple of years now, but I wish they were my words. I implore you to take a few moments, especially with the New Year right around the corner, and let these words resonate with you. Let these words remind you of what is truly important and what is not.

I wish each and everyone of you a fantastic, safe and of course prosperous New Year!! This year instead of making a ridiculous resolution that means nothing and has zero chance of accomplishment how about find a way to just do one thing in 2014 that you have never done before and try to help just one person in a way you've never tried before! I think if we all tried something along those lines, just imagine how amazing 2014 could truly be :)

Here is the post I want to share with you all:

       The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

And always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by those moments that take our breath away.

I choose life! What about you?

On a daily basis we are taking so much in externally is it really any surprise that we struggle so much as independent individuals? I don't know about any of you, but up until about 2 years ago I struggled to make some of the simplest life decisions. It would literally cripple me to purchase a clothing item because swirling around in my head were thoughts of; am I getting the best deal, is this the right fabric, were these jeans made in a sweatshop and a wide variety of others. Finally it occurred to me that the reason I was struggling so much was because many of the thoughts swirling around my head were not my own!

This was one of the major factors in my decision to get more in touch with my inner-self. I wanted freedom from all the regurgitated crap that we are all so accustom to, yet I fear the majority of us don't even realize that much of the things we carry around with us on a daily basis do not belong to us. Would you ever make it a daily exercise to drag around another persons 100 pound suitcase? Hopefully you all scoffed at that idea, yet on a mental and emotional level that is precisely what is happening.

I think it's about time that we pay more attention to what's going on inside and ignore a lot of what's going on outside. In case there is any confusion, by outside influences I mean radio, television, media, newspapers, other people and even our own eyes. Even though we see with our eyes, we process with our brains, so believe it or not, unless you train yourself accordingly, your brain tells you what you are seeing before your eyes ever get a chance. In other words we are allowing all these outside influences to determine the way we live as individuals. Doesn't that sound crazy?

I know it sounds a little strange and I know it sounds difficult but if you look at humanity on the whole, look how much more we were capable of in the past. The main reason for this is because they didn't have as many distractions. In the past you had no idea what was going on an hour away from you. There was no news, no radio, no way to easily travel back and forth and so people had more time to be in-touch with themselves. Large groups were able to accomplish amazing feats because they were all focused on one common goal. We have lost touch with this amazing ability because nowadays within 60 seconds I can easily find out what is happening on the other side of the globe. With so much horror and information to take in, why would I ever need to know what is truly going on inside of me?

Think about it like this, if you were hungry and you wanted to fill your appetite, would you hand a hot dog to another person, ask them to eat it for you and then you'd ask how it tastes and what the feeling of being full is like? I know, it sounds absolutely ridiculous, yet in our everyday lives we do things just like this. If I have a dream of what I want to be or goals I want to accomplish, at the end of the day, why would I ever tell my dreams to someone else and expect them to feel the same way about them as I do? My dream is mine and your dream is yours. It's like me expecting anybody else in the world to have the same connection I do with my child, it's just not possible. Another way of thinking about it is if you wanted to write a book and become a successful writer, would you want to get advice from someone who had tried unsuccessfully to get one book published over a 30 year span?

We are taught to believe that for the most part we are all the same. Well if you are using your eyes properly and you are actually processing what is really going on around you, would you ever tell someone that we are all the same? If we can agree that this world we live in is a crazy, backwards, amazing and beautiful mystery all wrapped into one, what do you want to do while we are here? Do you want to figure out why water is wet and why the sky is blue, or are you willing to accept that there are many questions you can't have answers to and so just find where you fit and spend as much time there as you can? That is one of the main thoughts we try to influence the youth to incorporate in their daily lives. So many of the youth we work with get so caught up in the "yellow tape" that they never actually make it to the real scene of the crime. If kids are worried about where the next meal is coming from or why the government seems so corrupt, how are we going to teach them to focus on doing something positive and worth while. The majority of them shrug their shoulders and say "What's the point?" We are the ones that have to show them what the "point" is!

I think we have way too many individuals that are literally comparable to a dog trying to catch its own tail. I don't even mean it in a negative way, its not our fault, but if we spend our time marching to the beat of other peoples drums, how do we ever expect to get where WE are heading? I know I live in a crazy world and I know things will not work out the way I expect most of the time, but the important part is that I'm okay with that and it doesn't get in the way of me achieving what I am here to achieve! For a second, please indulge this next rant. If we are actually beings that came to earth with a specific plan for our lives, how easy would you say it is to get distracted the moment you arrive? It's like me telling a 5 year old to walk from the entrance of Toys R Us all the way to the back of the store in less than 5 minutes, without stopping. How many kids do you think would be successful? Even if you had the greatest and most important task to achieve while you are here on earth, the moment you arrive you are surrounded by a proverbial Amusement Park full of distractions. We are almost set up to fail based on the way things seem, but I am here to tell you if we get back to internalizing things, we may not find it such an impossible task to achieve our dreams. I have learned how to turn my dreams into reality and everyone has the ability to do the same and we want to teach you!

Even in my line of work most organizations promote a message of ending bullying or putting a stop to bullying, whereas when we work with youth our focus is to help them deal and cope with bullying because much like other things in our lives, its something that as long as humans exist, so will bullying. Let's stop with the smoke and mirrors and as opposed to telling people that we can get rid of something, why not teach them how to live with it instead? Do you think you'd have more success keeping drugs away from your teenage child or would you have more success talking to them and preparing them for WHEN the drugs are present? I don't know about you, but if we can't solve the war on drugs, the war on terrorism, the war on..., I doubt we will have any more success fighting the war on bullying. Let's accept that it is a part of daily life and teach people how to prepare, avoid and  cope with it. That way we can move on.


I'm not a religious man, but I am a student of religion and the subject fascinates me. One thing that hopefully we can agree on is that god or whatever supreme being is responsible for all this, has truly only guaranteed us two things, life and death. It's up to us which one we choose and I can't speak for everyone, but I feel I am part of the small percentage who is still choosing life. If you actually thought about it, which one have you chosen?



As always your comments and feedback are essential to us being successful with our initiatives, so please, let's get talking!!

To find out more or to realize your own full potential, please reach out to Joshua@JoshuaStern.ca and you can visit www.JoshuaStern.ca for more.


Thank you again and much love and light to you all.

Competing for who has it worse?

If the title of this post has you scratching your head or scrunching your face, I accomplished exactly what I set out to do! I know how ridiculous it sounds and it most certainly must be just as ridiculous to read, but yet it's a reality we face everyday with the youth we work with. I may have mentioned it in a previous post, but watching kids physically fight over who had it worse growing up, has to be one of the more mind boggling events I can recall. Obviously the feelings and emotions that were brought out of these kids were their own, but the reasons behind them were not. The fuel that fired their actions was the result of society's ruling of "who has it worse".

If for example the news outlets consistently report about kids getting in trouble from low income neighborhoods, yet ignores some of the very same scenarios in more affluent parts of town, we automatically get a very skewed version of the truth. We work with kids from every walk of life, all backgrounds and very different income brackets and we keep hearing them say the same things. A girl who grew up pretty and skinny could never have it as bad as a girl who grew up over weight and unattractive and a kid who grew up with parents could never suffer as much as a kid who grew up with one or no parents. I don't think I need to continue, but I want to make it clear that it's these types of mentality's amongst our youth, which make it difficult for them to reach out for help. Not only that, but it's just not true.

If society believes that because you're pretty, popular and live in a wealthy area that you should have little or nothing to complain about, why would you ever reach out for help? If you have a different skin color you automatically have it worse, so what should a "white boy" ever have to complain about. Do you know how many times I've heard that one? If perception is reality and we can agree on that, can't we see that all this judging and grouping is completely unnecessary? Who cares what someone else thinks about how you feel. The last time a loved one hurt your feelings, would it make you feel better or worse if they told you that you were being silly and that there is no way THEY could have hurt YOUR feelings? Do you realize what I'm saying? Who gives a $%&@#& what anyone else thinks about your feelings!! If I tell you I am deathly afraid of lady bugs, I don't care how ridiculous you think that makes me, they are my feelings. Should I have to explain to anyone that when I was a kid I had horrible nightmares of being overcome by thousands upon thousands of ladybugs and when my mother killed herself and I found her, there were ladybugs all over her and ever since those two events I get pretty crazy when I see a ladybug? Now that my story has been validated by you is it okay that I have this fear? How crazy does that sound?

I recently received a letter from a youth I've been mentoring for almost 2 years and on top of bringing out a few emotions of my own that weighed in, the majority of why I wrote this post was because of his piece. With his permission I am letting you have a glimpse of what he wrote because it brought tears to my eyes and reminded me once again of what is important and what is not.

         "Dear Josh,

          ....It's been a little while since we last spoke but I wanted to fill you in on life at the shelter. It's kind of funny because I thought that running away and leaving my past behind would help, but as you and many older peeps already know, it don't work that way lol. So you obviously remember how I told you about how bad it was with my mom and my dad and what my school life was like, well now I have it just as bad, if not worse. 

When anyone from the shelter finds out that my parents have money, nice cars, and they live in a nice neighborhood, I automatically get shitted on. Is that even a word, shitted on, haha? Then all over again I get bullied, excluded, made fun of, you know all the usual. I try to tell these kids that I had it bad and all that other crap doesn't matter, but they just laugh and tell me to go buy someone to care. I swear it makes me want to snap again. I want to go mental on these kids, but then guess what, right back again to the beginning. Where I'm the maniac, I'm the evil one, I'm the one who is out of control. 

I don't know what more I can do. Its not only the kids, even most of the staff treat me different. Some have told me to get over what has happened and just "make nice" with my parents so I can go back to "paradise"!! How much I wish I could show these idiots how their idea of "paradise" is actually my "hell" in reality..."

I don't think there is much point in sharing any more of the letter, but hopefully it's clear what we are trying to say. Maybe "don't judge a book by its cover"? Have you heard that one before? You want to know one of the pieces of advice I actually gave this young man of 17 years of age? I told him the next time he is faced with the group of "Fatherless Fuckers" as he likes to refer to them, ask them if they would prefer to grow up hearing nothing everyday or if they would prefer to grow up hearing what a loser, failure and sorry excuse for a human they were everyday? Maybe just maybe they will choose the option of hearing nothing, at which point I told him to flash a bit of a smile and tell them well than maybe it was better growing up without a father than it was growing up with mine.

I'd just like to send a gentle reminder out there and ask that you all try to remember, it has nothing to do with how you feel about a situation or something you said or did to another, it's about how they feel about it. If you want to be the individual who always feels that their actions are justified and that other peoples feelings don't really matter when logic or truth is involved, take it from someone who knows firsthand, it can be a pretty lonely life!

Thank you very much for taking the time to read my blog posts and I appreciate any comments or feedback as always. Please if you like what you read here, become a follower and share with friends. For more information about what we do, you can visit www.HopeHouseYouthCharities.com and contact me at Joshua@HopeHouseYouthCharities.com. For more about Joshua Stern, you can visit www.JoshuaStern.ca

The Math Just Doesn't Add Up!

Last night while working on a youth program focused on what it takes to be a hero, it was as if that Looney Tunes Anvil fell from the sky and landed directly on my head! Just like that I was inundated with a thought so simple, but at the same time so sophisticated and capable of accomplishing amazing things. I find myself always searching for a better way to communicate, an easier way of articulating thoughts to words and what is the simplest way of getting a good point across. This topic is one of these moments for me.

Often times when I am running a program or engaging youth through a speaking role, you will find me talking about how "the math just doesn't add up". It is such a ridiculously obvious fact to me, yet somehow I feel like I, as well as many others, are struggling to get this point across. The context in which I use this term, while working with youth, is typically when I am describing the bullying phenomenon that is apparently crippling our society these days. In case you have never had the opportunity to partake in one of our programs or speaking engagements, it would go something like this. I would address the group I am working with and start by asking a few questions.

Me: How many students attend this school?

Random Student: I think about 500!

Me: Okay, out of these 500 students how many would you say are bullies? Just a guess will be fine.

Random Student #2: Maybe 20?

Me: Okay, lets say 50 just to make it easy. What is 50 out of 500? Which group has the edge?

Random Student #3 (Now laughing): Obviously there are 450 more regular students then there are bullies!

Me: Precisely, so why do we have a bullying problem?

Right after that last line is said we generally are met with some silence and then a lot of ruckus. Again, it seems so simple to me, yet in reality it just isn't so. What are we missing? How is it possible that 50 bullies can survive amongst 450 non-bullies? Maybe we are looking at some of the wrong things? Maybe the other 450 kids have a difference of opinion regarding these so-called 50 bullies? Maybe the students as opposed to fearing these other kids actually have some feelings of remorse or humanity towards them? Maybe the other youth are capable of understanding that there is more than meets the eye? Maybe we should do everything in our power to do the same? All I know for sure is that if I'm walking through my school courtyard and 5 kids are picking on 1, all I have to do is grab 10 of those 450 available kids and what could those 5 bullies possibly do to a wall of 10 students that are saying, "Not Today"! It's time we remember there is strength in numbers and its about time we start teaching our youth the same! Does this not sound so logical and so simple? So what in your opinion is the problem? How does such a small and insignificant percentage have the ability to reek such havoc?

The second instance where the numbers just don't add up for me, is when we look at the government or the wealthy members of society and we act as if they have all the power. This is exactly what they'd like you to believe, but it is very far from the truth. We the people have all the power and it's always been this way. The problem is that throughout the generations the fear has grown exponentially and it has left us with a society of people who are afraid to stand up for what they believe in and they are afraid to fight for what's right. All because of the fear of what could happen to us as an individual or the people we love. The more we live in fear, the more things will remain the same and in fact, continue on this downhill slide we have been on for a very long time. We have all the numbers and its staggering the difference between the two. If we as a society, community, City, State/Province or even Country could come together for one cause could you imagine what we could accomplish? Think about it like this, if we the people of Canada decided we were going to boycott Chrysler Cars for whatever the reason, and we actually did it, how long do you think it would be before Chrysler Canada goes belly up? How quickly would Chrysler have to scramble in order to "win" us back? Again I just shrug my shoulders and wonder why we don't have the ability to come together and make change, when mathematically everything is in our favor.

Just to hammer this topic home I have one last scenario I'd like to share. I live in a world where I expect to get value for the money I spend. I know it may sound crazy this day and age, but its true. I don't enjoy walking into a retail store and handing money to a clerk who can't even get off his or her cell phone to acknowledge me standing there and me providing them with income! Do I have to spell that out? When you walk into a Dry Cleaners for example, and you spend $200/month with them, does it not occur to you that you are helping to feed their family? Do we all forget that people used to do business only with people they knew and trusted? When I was younger every person my father did business with had been to our home for a social evening. In other words they were friends as well as business men and they both were aware of this fact. Without getting to far off topic, the point I want to make is this. Why aren't we looking for more value when we spend our money and why are we not realizing that based on simple Economics, if we don't spend our money, businesses struggle?

I live in what many people would describe as a fantasy land, and I'm okay with it because in my land, people are aware of the power they possess and people are able to make change when its needed. Think about it like this. Will Smith is the most bankable movie star of the past 10 years. So basically any film company, such as Warner Brothers or 20th Century Fox, knows that there is a simple math equation to follow:

Will Smith + Any script you can come up with + Film Company= $$$$$$$$$$$$$

What then would happen if we as a society decided that we don't like Will Smith any more and we won't support any of his films? How long would it be before Will Smith never made another movie? So when these movie companies and moguls come into your small town or city to film, what do you get in return? I have a crazy idea, lets use an equation of our own, you want us to support your actors and your movies, then how about you build a school every time you film on location? Or maybe you build a community centre, a daycare, a hospital, or just whatever is needed. Something that shows us, the people, that we are getting value for the Hundreds of Millions we spend on Movies and Entertainment?

Once again, the math just doesn't add up for me.

Thank you for taking the time to read, comment, support and be a part of my world! I truly believe that we have the ability to accomplish anything we want! We have the power, we just need to realize it and come together as one. When we can get to that point, we can do anything! Won't you try to change the world with me?