Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Short story on bullying

This is a short story about bullying that I have just finished. I wanted to post it here first to get your comments and feedback. Please let me know what you think!



Tasha Learns a Lesson


Tasha is a playful 2 year old German Sheppard who loves to run and play. Tasha spends most of her time helping out at home because she lives with only her mother and baby brother. Besides the fact that Tasha doesn’t have much, she does her best to carry on as if nothing were wrong, and as if she was the same as everyone else.

One day as Tasha is rolling around on the grass by her favorite park a group of Rottweiler’s begins to approach.

            “Hi, my name is Tasha!” She excitedly jumps to her feet and exclaims.

            “What kind of a name is Tasha?” The leader of the pack snarls in response.

The other dogs in the group let out a mocking laugh in support of their leaders rude comment. Tasha thinks nothing of it and invites the dogs to join her in a game of chase.

            “This here is Sierra and Zeus, and my name is Jackson, sorry to be the one who has to tell you this, but we aren’t interested in playing with you, so get lost!”

Jackson flips Tasha a snarl to let her know he’s serious.

            “Awe come on, lets go have some fun!” Tasha eagerly responded paying little attention to Jackson’s warning.

Without hesitation Tasha playfully lunges towards Sierra to get the games underway. Before she can even adjust Jackson and Zeus tackle her and pin her on her back.

            “Hey, what’s the big idea, I thought we were going to play?” Tasha innocently yelps.

            “Clearly you didn’t get my point.” Jackson barks. “We are not interested in playing with you. Look at you you’re a weirdo. What’s with the long bushy tail, it looks like you have a fifth leg.”

Sierra and Zeus begin howling in laughter and they join in the teasing.

            “Tasha has a fifth leg, Tasha has a fifth leg!” Sierra and Zeus prance around singing.

Immediately Tasha’s mood had changed and she began to doubt herself. Why would the other dogs not want to run and play with me, she thought to herself? What could possibly be wrong with my tail, she wondered? Quickly Tasha noticed that Sierra, Zeus, and Jackson did not have long bushy tails, they instead had small little nubs for tails.

            “Wait a minute!” Tasha whimpered. “Just because you don’t have long tails, and I do, that means we can’t play or be friends?”

            “Not only is it that, but you have pointy ears, black and beige coloring, a long narrow mouth, and you sound kind of funny when you bark!” Sierra quickly chimed in.

All three of the dogs started rolling around in laughter as they took turns mocking and insulting Tasha.

            “You guys are really mean, why don’t you give it a rest!” Tasha tried to save face.

            “Hey Zeus, it looks like we have to take things to the next level.” Jackson called out.

As Tasha slowly backed away she failed to notice Sierra standing behind her.

            “Leaving so soon?” She cackled.

Just then Zeus and Jackson pounce on Tasha and Sierra runs around barking in approval. After getting roughed up for a little while Tasha manages to kick Zeus off and she darts away in the direction of home whining all the way.

            “I thought we were playing chase!?” Jackson teased.

            “Yeah, don’t forget to come back real soon!” Zeus joined in.

A trail of dust was all that remained because Tasha hightailed it out of there faster than ever before. She was well past Mario’s Hot Dog cart before she even looked to see if the dogs were following. When Tasha realized she was alone, her head drooped, her ears flopped down to the side, her tail was tucked between her legs and she slowly limped the rest of the way home.

Tasha could not get over what had just happened and she re-played the events over and over in her mind. Why would the other dogs be so mean? What did I do to make them not like me? She wondered. Tasha figured she would wait for her mom to arrive home and once she explained what happened, her mother would know just what to do.

Finally Tasha’s mother arrived home after a long day of work.

            “Mom, mom, you’ll never believe what happened to me today!” Tasha anxiously blurted out.

            “No, probably not, but I can tell you what I do believe. Why have you not started dinner, and where is your brother?” Tasha’s mother responded sternly.


            “But Mom….” Tasha tried to finish but her mother stopped her mid-sentence.

            “No buts young lady, go get your brother and lets get dinner started, we can talk later”

            “Yes mother.” Tasha muttered as she sulked out of the room.

Tasha feels very alone and she can’t understand why her mother doesn’t seem to care. Dejected she heads upstairs to get her brother ready for dinner.

After dinner Tasha tries again to talk to her mom about what happened earlier.

            “Not now Tasha, I still have so much to prepare before tomorrow!” Her mother brushes her off.

Tasha heads back to her room and she sits and stares out the window.

Just before bed Tasha’s mother comes to have their long overdue chat. Tasha explains every little detail of what happened to her at the park and she is getting quite emotional in the process. Tasha’s mother smiles and tries to make light of the situation, she explains that it’s all part of growing up.

            “It’s nothing to get so worked up about.” Tasha’s mother tells her.

            “Just remember what I always taught you. Be true to yourself, remember who you are and never let anyone change that!” She continued.

Tasha doesn’t fully understand her mother’s wise words of wisdom, and if anything she is more confused now than she was before. Tasha decides she has had enough for one day and its time for bed.

The next morning Tasha refuses to leave home, she sits and sulks all day long. She is too afraid of running into Jackson and his pals again. The whole day Tasha sits and thinks about all the terrible things that could happen to her if she went outside. Tasha is beginning to let fear control her.

Later that evening when Tasha’s mom returns home she quickly notices that Tasha has not left the house all day.

            “What’s wrong Tasha, why haven’t you gone out today, what about the milk I asked you to get for dinner?” Her mother asks her with a serious look.

            “I didn’t want to run into those mean dogs again.” Tasha replies.

Tasha’s mother comes over and nuzzles up next to her. She asked Tasha if she planned on never leaving the house again. Confused Tasha quickly said no and she asked her mom not to be so silly.

            “Why would that be a silly question?” Tasha’s mother asked.

            “If you’re afraid of seeing those dogs today, aren’t you going to be afraid of them tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that?”

Tasha was beginning to understand what her mother was trying to tell her.

            “Oh I get it, I can’t let fear control me!” Tasha exclaimed.

            “Exactly. You must find a way to meet this problem head on and deal with it or else the problem will never go away. I know you’ll do the right thing.” Her mother encouraged her.

Tasha thanked her mother excitedly and she told her that tomorrow she would return to the park.

            “Not so fast young lady, you can try right now, we still need that milk!” Tasha’s mother quickly added.

            “Aw Mom.” Tasha sighed.

            “No buts just go!” Tasha’s mom added while walking away.

All of a sudden Tasha was not as excited to go out as she was a few moments ago. But Tasha quickly remembered the words her mother told her.

            “I can do this, it’s time to face my fears, I will not let fear control me!” Tasha gave herself a quick pep talk.

With that Tasha went bounding out the door to grab some milk. As she made her way through the neighborhood Tasha hears a loud argument coming from a nearby window. She pushes a box over to the window with her nose and she stands on the box with her front paws so she can just barely peek inside. There was Jackson with his ears pinned back, literally shaking with fear. Jackson’s father was yelling and barking at him and he was pushing him very aggressively. All Tasha could clearly make out was;

            “You’re useless, you’ll never amount to anything, I wish I never had you!”

She could not believe her ears. Instantly her feelings for Jackson had changed and instead of being afraid and thinking he was a bad dog, she now felt very sorry for Jackson and she wanted to help.

Just then Jackson’s father let out the scariest and loudest growl Tasha had ever heard and it knocked her right off her feet. Moments later Jackson came bolting out of the house crying.

Tasha slowly approached.

            “Are you okay?” She sheepishly asked Jackson.

            “Nobody should ever be treated that way.” She added.

As she went to comfort Jackson he instantly shrugged her off.

            “Unless you want some more problems I suggest you mind your own business!” Jackson warned.

            “But it’s okay, I’m here for you, you don’t have to be afraid.” Tasha tried to console him.

Jackson lashed out at Tasha and he told her she doesn’t have a clue. With that Jackson turned and ran off.

Tasha quickly grabbed the milk and she continued on her way home. She couldn’t believe what she had witnessed and she couldn’t understand how a parent could be so mean to his own child.

When she returned home she told her mother about everything she saw. Tasha’s mother tried comforting her by explaining that just because she learns certain lessons at home and she is raised a specific way, that doesn’t mean Jackson is taught the same things or is raised the same way.

            “We must learn to accept people for who they are and sometimes it takes a little extra effort to understand why people act the way they do.” Tasha’s mother told her.

            “Thanks mom, I think!?” Tasha said scratching her head.

Tasha went off to bed preparing for her big day tomorrow, she was going to face her fears.

The next morning Tasha was up bright and early anxious to get her day underway. She said good-bye to her mother and brother as she went bouncing out the front door. As she makes her way towards Mario’s Hot Dog Cart she stops quickly to sit pretty and beg. Mario notices her and tosses a hot dog Tasha’s way. Tasha gives Mario a lick and a shake and she continues on her way. As she makes her way towards the park she notices that 3 other dogs are bullying Jackson. He looked terrified and Tasha didn’t know what to do. There was part of her that thought Jackson was getting what he deserved, but the other part of her wanted to help him because she knew nobody deserved this.

Thinking quickly Tasha picked up a large stick in her mouth, snarled her teeth, put all the fur on her back up in attack mode, and she ran towards the dogs barking and growling as loud as she could.

            “You dogs better get out of here and fast!” Tasha yelled while shaking her stick.

Before the other dogs could even think Tasha was quickly approaching so they did the only thing they could. They ran as fast as they could in the other direction.

            “And don’t let me catch you back here again!” Tasha added to keep them thinking.

With that Tasha headed over to see if Jackson was ok.

            “What, why, I don’t understand? Why would you help me?” Jackson asked confused.

            “I saw a dog who needed help, so I decided to help, it’s as simple as that!” Tasha explained.

Tasha told Jackson how her mother taught her to be understanding of everyone, even him, and she added that she didn’t believe Jackson was a bad dog she believed he made some mistakes and nobody had corrected them.

            “I still can’t believe you helped me, nobody has ever done that for me, thank you!” Jackson expressed his gratitude.

The “Thank you” Tasha received made her feel better than anything had ever made her feel. Tasha realized that when you help someone else it is the most powerful and positive act one can achieve. She was no longer afraid of Jackson because she understood why Jackson behaved like he did and it wasn’t his fault entirely.

Tasha helped Jackson home and she headed straight for hers. When she arrived she told her mom what happened. Tasha’s mother was so proud of her she let Tasha choose what they would have for dinner.

            “I knew you could do it, I’m so proud of you! You faced your fears and not only that, but you put aside your own feelings in order to help someone else!” Tasha’s mom gave her a huge hug while saying.

The next day Tasha met up with Jackson at the park. The two of them became the best of friends. With Jackson by her side, and the help of Zeus and Sierra, the group of friends patrolled the park searching to help any others that were in need.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Bill 13 & 14

After completing our first ever anti-bullying program with the Youth Justice Services of Ontario and the West Scarborough Neighbourhood Community Centre I was compelled to share my experiences. I also wanted to share my thoughts and opinions on Bills 13 & 14 and explain how the experience I had with the 12 kids I worked with, firmly cemented my opposition to them.

I'd like to start by thanking Davis, Alex, and Cynthia, from West Scarborough Neighbourhood Community Centre, for having the faith to allow me to come in and work with these kids. It is still completely unfathomable to me that these 12 kids I worked with (who were mainly all 13-15 years of age) were going to be formerly charged with criminal offences if it wasn't for this program. 

Before we get any further into the details of the program and its participants, I wanted to give you all a brief overview of Bills 13 & 14.

For those of you who are unaware Bill 13, the Safe Schools Act, and a Government Bill, was introduced by the Minister of Education, Laurel Broten, on behalf the of the Liberal Ontario government. 

Bill 14, the Anti-Bullying Act, was introduced as a Private Member’s Bill by Progressive Conservative MPP Elizabeth Witmer. Both bills were introduced on the same day, November 30, 2011, as each party attempted to legislatively address the issue in their own way.

The bills were never intended to complement each other. They were presented as alternative proposals. There is significant overlap between the bills, as each: addresses the same root issue; advances its own definition of bullying and cyber-bullying; proposes amendments for bullying reporting mechanisms; and, proposes an annual bullying awareness week.
However, Bill 13 goes much further by proposing additional and controversial amendments to the Education Act, such as potentially restricting access of religious congregations that rent school facilities for church services, requiring boards to implement equity and inclusive education policies and mandatory gay-straight alliance clubs.
Regardless of the definitions, both Bills set out to make bullying a crime, and both Bills dangerously tread on a violation of our Constitutional rights.
My initial stance on these proposed Bills is that they are absolutely ridiculous. How any citizen, parent, or future parent, could "sign on" to this initiative absolutely boggles the mind. I can somewhat understand how the parents of a victim of severe bullying would want retribution, or a scapegoat, but do we really want to start persecuting children who are not in control of their actions? If there is one thing I learned from this past weeks anti-bullying program its that all the kids had a very different side of the story, and when they described their lives outside of school I was amazed that some of them even made it to school period. If we can all accept that yesterdays bully can become today's victim, and vice versa, than we are in a position to make some positive change. When I was being interviewed on "The Scott Thompson Show" the other day he asked me specifically what my thoughts were on the criminalizing of bullying. I'll tell you the same thing I told him, "If anyone were to spend 10 minutes with these so-called bullies I am working with this week, they would never want a child charged with a crime, they would only want to help!"
In addition to that I pointed out how my other major struggle with the anti-bullying legislatures is the fact that we already have charges in our criminal code that address all the issues surrounding bullying. Would you not agree that assault, harassment, trespassing, and uttering a threat, all fall under the category of bullying? Are we forgetting that the main reason a child can not be charged as an adult is because of the fact that children are not aware of their actions? Children should be given the opportunity to make mistakes, several of them, and then its on all of us to ensure that they learn from their mistakes. The kids I spoke to this week had zero idea about the implications of their actions, and they had even less idea of the long term damage and effect it could have on them, the victim, and their lives. Kids want the chance to prove they can do better, but if they are afraid or have constantly been ignored, they are almost like a shy baby animal, they just want to run, hide, and display their toughness to intimidate you.
On top of the points I made about the existence of several charges that already address the issue at bullying, here are a few more that are less than 5 years old.
Bill 212, the Progressive Discipline and School Safety Act, received Royal Assent on June 4, 2007. It amended the Education Act to include bullying as a ground for which student suspension must be considered. Mandatory suspensions and expulsion would only be required in certain circumstances, for example, if a student gave alcohol to a minor or committed sexual assault. When responding to negative behaviour, principals would be required to consider “mitigating or other factors” such as if a student can understand the consequences of the behaviour, as well as the age and history of the student.
Bill 157, the Keeping our Kids Safe at School Act, received Royal Assent on June 5, 2009. It requires school staff to report incidents of bullying to the principal and intervene when a student is “behaving in a way that is likely to have a negative impact on the school climate.” Incidents of bullying must also be reported to the parents of the victim(s) as well as the parents of the bully, with some exceptions and with the principal’s discretion.
Policy/Program Memorandum No. 144 on Bullying Prevention and Intervention was issued on October 4, 2007 and requires Ontario school boards to “develop and implement policies on bullying prevention and intervention, and are required to have their policies in place by February 1, 2008.” Boards with existing policies were required to review them to ensure they were consistent with the memorandum. The policy also included a definition of “bullying”.
After reading all that do you really believe there is a need for an anti-bullying legislature, or maybe we are just coming up with another "band-aid" solution to our problems?
Getting back to the group of kids I worked with this past week, when I had one on one time with each participant I found it extremely challenging to remain composed and to not get overly emotional. How could anyone want to charge a 13 year old boy, who is being raised by his mother and 2 uncles, that has drug use all around him, they abuse him physically and verbally, and he believes that's how every ones home life is!?
If I've said it once I'll say it again, these kids need attention, love, respect, and support. If a child is struggling we must find out what is at the cause and then we must come up with a plan that can help this individual. Only after every option has been exercised should we even consider doing something so detrimental and with such finality, as to charge them and basically ruin their chances at a solid future.
I implore all of you to find out more about these legislatures and to do everything in your power to educate others and to have them tabled.
For more information on the programs we run and develop for all schools, community centres, and anywhere that children gather, please visit www.joshuastern.ca and don't hesitate to contact us at joshua@joshuastern.ca.