Wednesday, February 19, 2014

The Ego - part 1

In truth I have been avoiding this subject for a very long time and for good reason. The ego is such an incredibly vast and rather unknown or speculated subject and yet I am now forced to share my thoughts on this incredible piece of life saving and life threatening equipment we all have at our disposal.

As you may have already noticed this is going to be Part 1 of the Ego post and that is because I want to focus on just 2 aspects of the ego: Negative & Positive. In keeping with the way I was raised I figure we will start with the bad news and end with the good! To be clear, I believe my own ego has served me well and not so well over the years and I also believe that the more we can be aware of this tricky little guy, the better prepared we are to deal with him.

I also mentioned that I avoided this subject and that now I am forced to share. The reason is simple. As is typically the case with me, I had an epiphany of sorts or the Universe just decided to "tell" me, it was time. The way this happened is that I was shown the purest example of how dangerous and glorious the ego can be and thus I am forced to share. What's that saying we grew up with...oh yeah, "Sharing is caring!" How did we forget that one? Nowadays it's almost like its a disease to share. I don't want to hear your problems and you definitely don't want to hear mine! Why not??? Maybe if we started talking with others about our problems and they in turn did the same, maybe we would actually solve a few more problems I'm thinking?? Mathematically speaking, I'm pretty certain the odds of success grow exponentially when we try something as opposed to not trying at all. What's that golf saying? "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." Sounds pretty comparable to me.

Now back to the ego and the event which propelled me to write this post. I watched a man literally cost himself and his business hundreds of thousands of dollars all because he couldn't get his ego in check. We've all heard "you can't have your cake and eat it to", well I can honestly tell you I have tried everything in my power to prove this statement false. So far, I haven't been able to accomplish that goal. This I believe is a saying that is directly linked to the workings of our ego. For it's my ego that tells me I can get the deal I want for $1000 and then its my ego that adds, "well I bet I can get that attractive salesperson to sleep with me too". As soon as I try to put that part of the plan into effect, I blow the whole deal. Now obviously there are many other ways that scene could have played out, but I was using this as a very general example.

If we could actually separate our true thoughts and feelings from those of our ego, an amazing thing can happen. It's almost as if you watch a scene from a movie play out and your conscious mind can literally map out what will happen based on what your ego does and how you decide to follow it. The negative Ego is responsible for so much hurt, pain and wrong doing it's unreal. The most dangerous aspect of our Ego is that it leads us to believe that we are individuals and not part of a "Super team" of sorts. Nonsense. We were made to work together, live together, celebrate together and so on. Notice how the main theme in all that was "together"? We were not made to be by ourselves, we were made to come together and thrive as a group, but this can not be done when negative ego is present.

 I work in the youth charity industry and I can honestly tell you how sad this industry is because the individuals in charge are consumed by ego and therefore the work that should be done is not getting done because of these egotistical behaviors. There are thousands upon thousands of youth charities alone and if we think about this again from a math stand point, it's pretty startling. If everyday thousands of charitable organizations are all spending the majority of their time, resources and energy raising money & creating awareness for the cause, how are the youth getting what these charities have established themselves for in the first place?

Why is it that if there are only 10 youth charities in let's say, Ontario, Canada, they are all fighting each other for the same amount of money? Wouldn't it make sense that if all 10 of these organizations were truly established in order to help youth that they would come together and all form a team like, "The Justice League" or "The Avengers"? I know it's a crazy analogy, but could you imagine if Superman and Batman started to fight over who saved more people? Or if Wonder Woman and Hawk-girl started to fight over who was prettier and who had a better body? I'm sure I could provide you with plenty of somewhat humorous comparisons, but hopefully my point doesn't get lost. If the Superheroes were driven by Ego very little "saving & rescuing" would be done as it would be replaced by "arguments & pissing contests" or maybe they would just realize how superior they all are and they'd just rule the world instead of protecting it. All this just because of ego?

Every kid in the world would stand up and freak out at their televisions if the superheroes ever behaved in the manners I just described, so why as regular, plain humans do we get a free pass? Maybe we haven't received a free pass and our children have been yelling at us for years to wake up! What do we do with those kids??? We put them on a prescription pill and tell them they have ADD or ADHD and they don't deal well with authority! Guess what everyone, that is your EGO talking and that is why are EGO can be so dangerous! Our ego's allow us to dismiss what others think or say because we are superior. Our ego's cause us to stop building a school for the homeless because we can't decide whose name goes up in gold letters to let the world know who built the school?? Seriously?!?! Ego's keep organizations with the same missions & goals apart because instead of sharing the money and working as a team, we prefer to be "The One". The only place where there is the "One" is in movies. Nothing in this world is singular. Everything and everyone is connected. So even if there was the idea of "The One", that "One" would need a lot of support from a lot of individuals that weren't the "One". See what I'm saying? If the One needs millions in order to accomplish his or her goals, then guess what, THEY ARE NOT THE ONE, THEY ARE THE MILLION AND ONE!!!

I'm here to help all youth and I try everyday to put my negative ego in check. I am asking any and all individuals who want to see change to stop picking and choosing. Stop supporting 3 different charities per year and then 3 new ones every year after and actually put your efforts into one. One that you believe in and one where you see the direct results of the efforts you put in. If we could all put our egos in check and realize that we don't have to be the one person in the room who is supporting the best and most worth while charity, we just all have to be the ones that are supporting a charity that does what it promises. Maybe enough of giving money, and I mean trillions of dollars, to Cancer research when we know the money isn't going to cancer research, it's going to paying for those amazing lottery prizes and all those executives salaries!! Let's give money to someone in our backyard who actually shows up in our backyard and does the promised work.

As always I thank you for entertaining my thoughts and opinions and if there is anything you'd like to add, share or comment on, please do so. If you enjoyed what you read, please do your best to share it.