I decided to hold my post on the Rehtaeh Parsons suicide for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I wanted to respect radio host and my friend Roy Green, who was having me on his show to discuss this tragic event. Secondly I wanted to do a little more research so I could truly speak to this very sensitive and heart wrenching story.
Before I even delve into Rehtaeh's story, I wanted to be very clear that one of the major reasons I'm writing this post is because I can't believe how many others have suffered the same fate and how many of them we are no longer speaking of. Maybe if we stop treating these cases like a "Movie of the week" special, they will actually resonate with society the way they should and we can make the necessary changes.
For those of you who are unaware of Rehtaeh and her case, she was a 17 year old girl from Nova Scotia, Canada. In a nutshell she was at a party and she was severely intoxicated, at which point 4 boys apparently decided this would be the perfect opportunity to pounce. Here is a quote from the article titled "Rehtaeh Parsons: A family's tragedy and a town's shame" by Wendy Gillis of The Toronto Star, referring to when Rehtaeh's mother found out about the evening she was raped:
"A photograph showing one of the teens having sex with her daughter — him giving a thumbs-up, Parsons throwing up out a window — had been captured. It didn’t take long before it buzzed into the phones of classmates, who BlackBerry-messaged it to others, who texted it to others."
I just want to stop there for a moment. How in the world was nobody else aware of these photos and how did no-one else step up and put an end to this? There wasn't one teenager that thought this was inappropriate or devastating enough to tell an adult? That to me is one of the most alarming facts of this whole story. Are today's youth so numb to these situations that they don't even know when something is grossly inappropriate? I myself have an almost 6 year old son and if he was a teenager and he came across photos like that and didn't alert me or another adult, I'd probably lose my mind. It's almost like our society is becoming a real life version of the book "Lord of the Flies". That's the book where kids deserted on an Island are forced to act like adults and if we can remember, that didn't work out to well. Kids are supposed to act like kids and adults are the ones who should act like adults and raise/protect our youth. The attack occurred in late 2011, which means this was going on for almost a year and a half. How in the world could nobody intervene during that time and make things better? I don't even want to get into how it's possible that nobody was charged in this case until anonymous online postings basically forced the RCMP to re-open it. I have so many more questions and concerns, but I don't want to lose sight of why I'm writing this post.
I want to talk about a few other recent cases that should not go unnoticed. Hopefully we all remember Amanda Todd, if not just Google or YouTube her and you'll find a plethora of information. She was the young girl who took her own life after constant harassment for showing her breasts to a young boy online. You can also look at two of my own past posts about the Amanda Todd story. It saddens me that nobody talks about Amanda anymore, she was just the flavor of the month I guess.
Next up we have the Steubenville, Ohio rape case, where two 17 year old boys sexually assaulted a 16 year old girl who was drunk to the point of blacking out. Several photos and videos were taken of the assault and night in question, and then the images were passed around via the Internet and cell phones. Thankfully the 2 boys in question were charged and convicted and thankfully the girl is still alive, although struggling. I guess we will have to wait a few months to see how that one plays out.
Than we have Audrie Pott. Audrie was a 15 year old girl who was sexually battered at a party. Are we beginning to see a theme here?? Just like the others Audrie was intoxicated and barely conscious when a group of 3 boys thought this would be the perfect time to make their moves. Pictures of the night were spread via text message and Audrie hung herself as it was all too much for her. My favorite part of this story is how the defense lawyer for the accused boys, who were arrested only 6 months after the assault, stated that he doesn't see a link between the sharing of these images and the suicide of Audrie!
Maybe it's idiots like that guy, who are raising children of their own, that are responsible for youth that act like this. I honestly can't believe a professional adult came up with that line. That's like me saying I don't see the connection in getting punched in the face, even though I called the guy an asshole and told him his mother is a slut right before I got hit. Does anyone else see the lunacy in this or is it just me?
I honestly don't even know what to say about all the teenage boys who are committing these heinous acts. I'm seriously at a loss. Who is raising these kids is my first question. How does a 16 year old boy think that it's a good idea to not only take advantage of a seriously intoxicated girl, but to also take photos and videos of it to share with friends? These boys sound like animals and opportunists to me. Where has the innocence of being young gone. I won't even write what I truly think should be done to these boys because then somehow it will be me who is in the wrong. If I was a parent to one of these individuals, I can't even imagine what I'd be feeling. Maybe the problem is that I'm not their parent. Maybe they have the kind of parent that says these girls probably deserved it, or they were begging for it, or my personal favorite, kids are just being kids.
I could write about this subject for days, but the fact is teenagers are killing themselves at alarming rates. In Alberta, Canada, in one year the number of pediatric suicides jumped from 14 kids in 2011 to 33 kids in 2012. This year so far there have been more than 5 teenage suicides. What do we think is the cause? Is it something in the water? Are kids just being born differently? Or maybe we are just failing our children as parents and adults? In my humble opinion its definitely the latter. I work with many youth who are at-risk and not at-risk and the number one thing that seems to connect all the cases I have been privy to, is a major lack of parenting. We must have an early detection system in place that allows us to properly asses all youth from as early an age as possible. Through schools or other community initiatives we have to find a way to get at these youth in order to establish what is missing and how we can get these children the support and guidance they truly need. Without this I'm afraid we are fighting a losing battle because as long as the family structure continues to deteriorate and money gets tighter, the kids are the ones who suffer. Who is raising our children if not for us?
As always at The Josh Project, The Corner and Hope House Youth Charity we are dedicated to helping all children grow to become successful adults. Please join us in this extremely important and necessary task however you can. We need you, but more importantly the kids need you. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and please do everything you can to pass this message along. Your comments, questions and concerns are always welcome!
Before I even delve into Rehtaeh's story, I wanted to be very clear that one of the major reasons I'm writing this post is because I can't believe how many others have suffered the same fate and how many of them we are no longer speaking of. Maybe if we stop treating these cases like a "Movie of the week" special, they will actually resonate with society the way they should and we can make the necessary changes.
For those of you who are unaware of Rehtaeh and her case, she was a 17 year old girl from Nova Scotia, Canada. In a nutshell she was at a party and she was severely intoxicated, at which point 4 boys apparently decided this would be the perfect opportunity to pounce. Here is a quote from the article titled "Rehtaeh Parsons: A family's tragedy and a town's shame" by Wendy Gillis of The Toronto Star, referring to when Rehtaeh's mother found out about the evening she was raped:
"A photograph showing one of the teens having sex with her daughter — him giving a thumbs-up, Parsons throwing up out a window — had been captured. It didn’t take long before it buzzed into the phones of classmates, who BlackBerry-messaged it to others, who texted it to others."
I just want to stop there for a moment. How in the world was nobody else aware of these photos and how did no-one else step up and put an end to this? There wasn't one teenager that thought this was inappropriate or devastating enough to tell an adult? That to me is one of the most alarming facts of this whole story. Are today's youth so numb to these situations that they don't even know when something is grossly inappropriate? I myself have an almost 6 year old son and if he was a teenager and he came across photos like that and didn't alert me or another adult, I'd probably lose my mind. It's almost like our society is becoming a real life version of the book "Lord of the Flies". That's the book where kids deserted on an Island are forced to act like adults and if we can remember, that didn't work out to well. Kids are supposed to act like kids and adults are the ones who should act like adults and raise/protect our youth. The attack occurred in late 2011, which means this was going on for almost a year and a half. How in the world could nobody intervene during that time and make things better? I don't even want to get into how it's possible that nobody was charged in this case until anonymous online postings basically forced the RCMP to re-open it. I have so many more questions and concerns, but I don't want to lose sight of why I'm writing this post.
I want to talk about a few other recent cases that should not go unnoticed. Hopefully we all remember Amanda Todd, if not just Google or YouTube her and you'll find a plethora of information. She was the young girl who took her own life after constant harassment for showing her breasts to a young boy online. You can also look at two of my own past posts about the Amanda Todd story. It saddens me that nobody talks about Amanda anymore, she was just the flavor of the month I guess.
Next up we have the Steubenville, Ohio rape case, where two 17 year old boys sexually assaulted a 16 year old girl who was drunk to the point of blacking out. Several photos and videos were taken of the assault and night in question, and then the images were passed around via the Internet and cell phones. Thankfully the 2 boys in question were charged and convicted and thankfully the girl is still alive, although struggling. I guess we will have to wait a few months to see how that one plays out.
Than we have Audrie Pott. Audrie was a 15 year old girl who was sexually battered at a party. Are we beginning to see a theme here?? Just like the others Audrie was intoxicated and barely conscious when a group of 3 boys thought this would be the perfect time to make their moves. Pictures of the night were spread via text message and Audrie hung herself as it was all too much for her. My favorite part of this story is how the defense lawyer for the accused boys, who were arrested only 6 months after the assault, stated that he doesn't see a link between the sharing of these images and the suicide of Audrie!
Maybe it's idiots like that guy, who are raising children of their own, that are responsible for youth that act like this. I honestly can't believe a professional adult came up with that line. That's like me saying I don't see the connection in getting punched in the face, even though I called the guy an asshole and told him his mother is a slut right before I got hit. Does anyone else see the lunacy in this or is it just me?
I honestly don't even know what to say about all the teenage boys who are committing these heinous acts. I'm seriously at a loss. Who is raising these kids is my first question. How does a 16 year old boy think that it's a good idea to not only take advantage of a seriously intoxicated girl, but to also take photos and videos of it to share with friends? These boys sound like animals and opportunists to me. Where has the innocence of being young gone. I won't even write what I truly think should be done to these boys because then somehow it will be me who is in the wrong. If I was a parent to one of these individuals, I can't even imagine what I'd be feeling. Maybe the problem is that I'm not their parent. Maybe they have the kind of parent that says these girls probably deserved it, or they were begging for it, or my personal favorite, kids are just being kids.
I could write about this subject for days, but the fact is teenagers are killing themselves at alarming rates. In Alberta, Canada, in one year the number of pediatric suicides jumped from 14 kids in 2011 to 33 kids in 2012. This year so far there have been more than 5 teenage suicides. What do we think is the cause? Is it something in the water? Are kids just being born differently? Or maybe we are just failing our children as parents and adults? In my humble opinion its definitely the latter. I work with many youth who are at-risk and not at-risk and the number one thing that seems to connect all the cases I have been privy to, is a major lack of parenting. We must have an early detection system in place that allows us to properly asses all youth from as early an age as possible. Through schools or other community initiatives we have to find a way to get at these youth in order to establish what is missing and how we can get these children the support and guidance they truly need. Without this I'm afraid we are fighting a losing battle because as long as the family structure continues to deteriorate and money gets tighter, the kids are the ones who suffer. Who is raising our children if not for us?
As always at The Josh Project, The Corner and Hope House Youth Charity we are dedicated to helping all children grow to become successful adults. Please join us in this extremely important and necessary task however you can. We need you, but more importantly the kids need you. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and please do everything you can to pass this message along. Your comments, questions and concerns are always welcome!
