I know, I know, it's been way too long since my last blog, or if you are on the other side of the fence, it hasn't been long enough :)
Either way I'm back and I'd like to think better than ever, but as always I'm happy to have the opportunity to share some thoughts with you all.
The other day and many, many times over the past 4 or 5 years I have found myself dealing with the word "reputation" a whole lot. Obviously with the youth work we do, reputation is something we talk about, but not nearly enough. As adults and as leaders I feel it is our duty to explain to the youth just how crucial a reputation can and should be.
If I could speak to it everyday it would never be enough, because once you have a bad reputation it is the hardest thing to change. You are asking a large group of individuals to ignore what comes so naturally, which is having a "knee-jerk" reaction. Unfortunately psychology teaches us that without immense work and some times shock therapy, it is extremely difficult to change pathways of thought in our brains. For example, if you had been bitten and subsequently terrified of dogs due to an attack when you were a child, every time you come around a dog it's typical that you react based on something that happened all those years ago. So in other words, for most individuals if they see a person they went to high school with after more than 10 years has passed, it's amazing how quickly you will perceive that person to be the exact same as they were when you knew them in school.
I for one have always lived by the rule that if you can't change others, which you can't, it's probably best to change yourself or your outlook. I don't know about any of you, but for me it's easier to just know who I am and believe in it fully, then to try and convince anyone of something they'd rather not bother with. If actions speak the loudest than hopefully people can see you for who you have become, but again there is psychology involved and when you take me for example, there are many people who know about my checkered past and even with all the work I have done, they would rather believe that there has to be a bad reason for me to be doing all this good. I know it sounds crazy just typing it, but trust me it happens far too often.
For many years I would internalize all that and somehow look at myself in the mirror and doubt my own intentions. Then I smashed that mirror and got a new one that worked!! It's not about what anyone else thinks, says or does that should determine the choices you make. If I do something that another person doesn't like, I have no problem discussing it with them, but trust me that if I am not doing anything wrong, I don't care if you like what I do or not. I wasn't put on this planet and neither were any of you, to make others feel better about themselves. You know the old adage that if I'm a liar, I'm naturally going to believe everyone lies to me, well the same rule applies here. If someone doesn't like the fact that I have turned my life around and now I'm dedicated to helping others, maybe its about them not turning something around? Maybe it's about them knowing inside they could be doing more and because they see me doing more they automatically feel crappy inside, and who wants to point the finger at themselves?
All this brings me back to probably the most important lesson we can teach our youth and I'd even like to remove the word teach and replace it with guide. I don't know about you, but I much prefer learning from a guide than I do a teacher. Just something about the wording and the reaction I have to teachers ;) We need to guide our youth to making the right choices and then we need to be there for them regardless if they make the right choices or not. The moment a negative reputation begins to form, it's already too late.
NEVER FORGET THIS:
The worst part about getting a bad reputation when you're young, is not convincing others that it's not true, it's about convincing yourself!!
When you look in the mirror the reputation you see for yourself must be the truest representation of who you are or there will be repercussions. Never let another persons opinion of you change your own. As adults this sounds simple, but think back to when you were a child and if a few family members always commented on how you are the clumsy one, I wonder how many of you still perceive yourselves to be the clumsy ones.
Wishing everyone a very Happy Canada Day and as always I thank you for taking the time. If you like what we do, please support in anyway. As always we can be found at www.TheJoshProject.com.
Love and Light!
Either way I'm back and I'd like to think better than ever, but as always I'm happy to have the opportunity to share some thoughts with you all.
The other day and many, many times over the past 4 or 5 years I have found myself dealing with the word "reputation" a whole lot. Obviously with the youth work we do, reputation is something we talk about, but not nearly enough. As adults and as leaders I feel it is our duty to explain to the youth just how crucial a reputation can and should be.
If I could speak to it everyday it would never be enough, because once you have a bad reputation it is the hardest thing to change. You are asking a large group of individuals to ignore what comes so naturally, which is having a "knee-jerk" reaction. Unfortunately psychology teaches us that without immense work and some times shock therapy, it is extremely difficult to change pathways of thought in our brains. For example, if you had been bitten and subsequently terrified of dogs due to an attack when you were a child, every time you come around a dog it's typical that you react based on something that happened all those years ago. So in other words, for most individuals if they see a person they went to high school with after more than 10 years has passed, it's amazing how quickly you will perceive that person to be the exact same as they were when you knew them in school.
I for one have always lived by the rule that if you can't change others, which you can't, it's probably best to change yourself or your outlook. I don't know about any of you, but for me it's easier to just know who I am and believe in it fully, then to try and convince anyone of something they'd rather not bother with. If actions speak the loudest than hopefully people can see you for who you have become, but again there is psychology involved and when you take me for example, there are many people who know about my checkered past and even with all the work I have done, they would rather believe that there has to be a bad reason for me to be doing all this good. I know it sounds crazy just typing it, but trust me it happens far too often.
For many years I would internalize all that and somehow look at myself in the mirror and doubt my own intentions. Then I smashed that mirror and got a new one that worked!! It's not about what anyone else thinks, says or does that should determine the choices you make. If I do something that another person doesn't like, I have no problem discussing it with them, but trust me that if I am not doing anything wrong, I don't care if you like what I do or not. I wasn't put on this planet and neither were any of you, to make others feel better about themselves. You know the old adage that if I'm a liar, I'm naturally going to believe everyone lies to me, well the same rule applies here. If someone doesn't like the fact that I have turned my life around and now I'm dedicated to helping others, maybe its about them not turning something around? Maybe it's about them knowing inside they could be doing more and because they see me doing more they automatically feel crappy inside, and who wants to point the finger at themselves?
All this brings me back to probably the most important lesson we can teach our youth and I'd even like to remove the word teach and replace it with guide. I don't know about you, but I much prefer learning from a guide than I do a teacher. Just something about the wording and the reaction I have to teachers ;) We need to guide our youth to making the right choices and then we need to be there for them regardless if they make the right choices or not. The moment a negative reputation begins to form, it's already too late.
NEVER FORGET THIS:
The worst part about getting a bad reputation when you're young, is not convincing others that it's not true, it's about convincing yourself!!
When you look in the mirror the reputation you see for yourself must be the truest representation of who you are or there will be repercussions. Never let another persons opinion of you change your own. As adults this sounds simple, but think back to when you were a child and if a few family members always commented on how you are the clumsy one, I wonder how many of you still perceive yourselves to be the clumsy ones.
Wishing everyone a very Happy Canada Day and as always I thank you for taking the time. If you like what we do, please support in anyway. As always we can be found at www.TheJoshProject.com.
Love and Light!
