Sunday, August 26, 2012

Hoops For Hopes

As I sit here resting my aching out of "full court basketball" shape body, I am still smiling at what a great event it was. This was our 2nd annual Hoops For Hopes Event and what a difference a year makes! Apparently we have even already secured Maple Leaf Gardens for next years event. Before I go any further I wanted to thank everyone who came out to support us, all the volunteers, all the organizers, all the sponsors, all the media, and anyone I'm forgetting, thank you too. This event is double special for me because not only am I friends with the organizers of the event but I am also the Spokesperson for Youth Assisting Youth, www.yay.org, who were the main benefactors.

Youth Assisting Youth and the Peer Project are wonderful initiatives which specifically focus on mentoring youth. They have a success rate over 95% with the 30,000 plus youth they have worked with over the past 30 years and it's an honour to be associated with them. I implore you to have a look at their website and see if there is a way you can help! Special mention to my man Andre, you did a great job!!

This year the Hoops for Hopes executive committee, made up of several of my friends and associates, plans on introducing 3 programs throughout the G.T.A. come December.

Books and Basketball, Hoops and Homework, and Shoot Hoops not Guns. The first program is for elementary school aged children, the second is for High School students, and the third program is specifically designed to benefit at-risk youth on a one to one basis.

We need to do more as a community to help support programs and initiatives such as these if we are to actually make a difference with todays youth.

Special thanks to Mark Strong (host of the Raptors & Argos) for once again coming out and supporting us. I also wanted to thank all the support from Ryerson University's Men's Basketball team, Jana from JogawithJana.com, Tamara and Alisha Tatham from the 2012 Canadian Women's Olympic Basketball Team, D.J. Starting from Scratch, Akil Augustine, Ray Robinson, Devo Brown, and so many more amazing people!!

Hope to see you all at Hoops for Hopes 3!!!

The wonderful world of perception; It truly is make or break!

This was actually the blog I was planning on writing last week, so instead of ditching it due to the overwhelming week I had, I've decided to do two posts this weekend. The second post will be all about the wonderful time I had yesterday at our 2nd Annual Celebrity Charity Basketball event called "Hoops For Hopes".

The reason I decided to do a post about perception is simple; it's very needed! Over the last almost 2 years now, since I began this current quest of mine, I have been asked one question more than any other one by a landslide. As I have shared my story with so many people, the number one question I get is, "How did you do it, how did you turn it all around?"

There it is, the golden question. "How did you do that?" It's a question that mankind has asked so many times and for a variety of reasons. Here is the secret and super special answer. Everyday I make a CONSCIOUS effort to be the person I want to be and to live the life I want to live. That is it, no great mystery there. To further illustrate my point I will give you this example. If in the past I would have depressed or negative thoughts, or perhaps I would be dealing with some memories that were anything but palatable, I would typically turn to drugs or crime to feel better. What I do now when I have those same experiences is I get out a pen and paper and I immediately write down exactly how I'm feeling and all the expletives and emotion that I can muster. Than I have a read over what I just spewed out and I do my best to analyze it, and understand what got me to that point in the first place.

As this process is underway I start to realize that the emotions that had all built up to a rapid boil, were slowly starting to make it's way back to a manageable simmer. Just by reading over what I had just written I almost get a 3rd party view to a very personal battle. It almost becomes humorous as I read things that I just wrote and yet I find myself thinking, "Really, that's what you want to do, that's ridiculous!" When I get to that point, I'm literally laughing as opposed to being angry, and I can get back to whatever else it is I need to do. The second part of my exercise is that I always have a copy of my "Life Map" with me. What I mean by Life Map is simple, it's basically a map or guide of who I want to be, how I'm going to do it, and why it's important to me. When I find that I am struggling or things are not going to plan, I pull out my Life Map, have a good read, and I remind myself that there is a bigger picture and a bigger plan going on here, and all I have to remember is to stay on the path I chose for myself and I should be okay.

In other words as far as I'm concerned it all comes down to perception! If I wake up in the morning and I tell myself life sucks and it's going to be a horrible day, well guess what, it most certainly will be. However, if I wake up and I tell myself that today is going to be all about new experiences, I'm going to have a great day, and the fact that I woke up breathing is already a pretty good thing in my books, you may just find that your day turns out a lot better than you expected. Let's not forget one of the oldest sayings we have, "Glass Half Empty or Glass Half Full", how do you want to view it! Notice how I didn't say how "DO" you view it? That's because I want you to realize it's not about how you do anything, it's about why you do it! If you want to have good days, and you want to enjoy life, than make it so. Take control of your life and you determine how and what works for you!

So there it is, no big mystery, and no magic cure. I still have times where I get mad, I still have times when I want to go back to who I once was, and I still want band-aid fixes because I became accustom to them over the past 25 years. The difference is that these days I take control of what's swirling around that busy brain of mine, and I don't allow it to waste time/energy on negativity. I am able to dissect my emotions surrounding the anger and frustration, and once that is the case, you are able to get passed it.

If you don't have a Life Map and you are unsure of how to start one, please feel free to contact me at joshua@joshuastern.ca and we will help you get on your way to building the life you've always wanted.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Making A Difference

Over the last few weeks we have been discussing, at great lengths, what we can do to make a difference in the war on at-risk youth. I use the word war because at the end of the day, what else is it if not a war? The main problem with this war, or any other for that matter, is that typically you can only have a war when you clearly know who the enemy is. In other words, it's one thing if for example Canada is at war with the U.S.A., for then you have two clear parties who are at war with each other, but when it comes to a war such as the one on terror, or the one that we are trying to wage, we don't have a clear idea on who the enemy actually is, and where they reside. Just like the war with Al Qaeda, you have the enemy spread out all over the place, so you can't just wage war with a specific area, because while you may wipe out one cell, you will never defeat them all.

That is why in my opinion it is crucial that we find alternate ways to fight this battle. To me the war on terror would be more successful if in every region that they dwell in, the people, not the government, decided "This will no longer be acceptable". In the same ways that gangs have infiltrated our neighbourhoods and communities, so has the beast which is responsible for ruining our youths lives. When we live in a community where we know that evil is being condoned or bred, we must band together and literally say, "not in my neighbourhood"! If we have a community of let's say 1000 people, and 25 of them are "bad", where does the majority lie, who really has the power? Why can't we start looking at things that way? Maybe we as a society are way too complacent when it comes to "letting things slide", and for me, if there are adults who are turning a blind eye, or condoning this type of behaviour, we need to remove these negative elements. It's time we stop living in fear, and believe me, if I moved into a new neighbourhood where my sons livelihood was at stake, I would either move instantly, or fight until I could fight no more! Why do I feel like I am the minority when I make a statement such as that?

We talk about the government doing more, we expect the education system to do more, and we depend on our community to do more. WHY DO WE KEEP PASSING THE BUCK? We have the power, we can make the difference, and we don't need anyone else to do it for us! I can't make it any clearer. If some of us need to re-evaluate their priorities, so be it. If people need to have more education on when it's the appropriate time to have, or keep children, than let's work on that, but standing around, throwing are arms up in the air in frustration, or turning to the person next to us and expecting them to do something is ridiculously futile. Haven't we always been taught that doing nothing, or getting frustrated and quitting are not the keys to success?

The other day as I was preparing to shoot a piece with Global's "Making a Difference" segment with Susan Hay, I couldn't stop thinking about this one crazy idea that I am about to share with you. As I was driving to Toronto, to Horizon's Youth Shelter, I was contemplating the best ways to continue helping and doing what I'm doing. On the one hand I am hopeful that my writing career and the programs I am creating will be enough to offset the cost of my operating The Josh Project, and I also hope that people who have contributed and supported my initiatives thus far continue to do so. But then it dawned on me, unless you were a complete degenerate, or a "lost soul", as I like to refer to them, If I or my organization were able to save your child, how much would it be worth to you? Forget the house, the cars, your vacations, etc., how much would the happiness and overall success of your child mean to you? Could you actually even attach a dollar amount to that? My problem is that I deal with a large amount of kids whose parents are more interested in their own lives and personal success, than they are in their kids. They look at their kids and they wonder why they don't get it and I'm the guy standing there thinking to myself, "Of course your kids don't get it, you're not showing them how!" If we show our children anger, hostility, aggression, but we try to tell them to be polite, respectful, and calm, what do you think is going to resonate the most? What we show them, or what we tell them?

Obviously I managed to ramble a bit again as this topic is very near and dear to my heart for several reasons, but back to my crazy thought from the other day. Recently we added a "Donate" button to our website www.JoshuaStern.ca, and thanks to PayPal, literally anyone in the world who wants to support us can donate $1 at any given time. My organization, "The Josh Project" is affiliated with several youth organizations across Ontario, and I am specifically the spokesperson for Youth Assisting Youth and The Peer Project, www.YAY.org. What this means is that anyone who donates with us can first off be provided with a Charitable tax receipt, and second off, they can see first hand where their money is going and how it's being put to use. So without further adieu, here is the hair-brained idea I came up with. Forget all of Canada, in fact let's even forget all of Ontario for a moment. The population of the G.T.A. (Greater Toronto Area) is over 6 million people. The G.T.A. is also one of the more expensive area's to reside in inside the province of Ontario. If just half the population of the G.T.A. decided that on one given day they were all going to donate just $1 to an organization such as The Josh Project, or Youth Assisting Youth, we would have over 3 MILLION dollars to put directly back into programming, mentor ship, and community centres such as the "Marion's Place" initiative you can read about on our website.

I will not accept, or believe for even a split second, that half, if not all of the population in the G.T.A. could not afford to donate $1. To take it a step further, what percentage of that 6 million people would you say are well off, or above average when it comes to financial wealth? In fact, let's even forget about all the people, because realistically what we should focus on is the "Household". According to the Toronto CMA General Demographic Statistics, in 2010, http://www.trra.ca/en/reports/TorontoGenDemo.asp there were 637,811 Households that had an income of over $100,000. How is it possible that any of us could, or would accept that these households could not afford a one time donation of $5-$10? That would mean 3.2 or 6.4 million dollars raised on that initiative alone!!

Now I am all for helping starving children in other Countries, war-torn regions, and helping third world Countries with clean drinking water and education, but I am also a very strong believer in "you take care of your home first, than you start working on others"! If we have as many problems and issues as we do here, why are we working so hard and raising millions of dollars for charities and organizations that don't operate or assist locally? I'm sure we are all aware about "Bus Lady Karen Klein" by now, but for those of you who don't, Karen was a Senior Bus Lady from the United States and on one particular ride to school she was harassed and bullied by a few young punks. The attack was videoed and it made it's way to YouTube where it instantly became viral. Believe it or not, through the website www.indiegogo.com, a young Canadian man started a charitable fund for her that has raised over $600,000. Now I'm not saying this isn't a truly remarkable event, and a very positive example of how many people want to help, but talk about just blindly donating money, come on! Originally the hope was to raise $10,000 to send Karen on a much needed vacation, but now it has snowballed into a commentary on what should she do with all the money, she wants to retire, she wants to invest, etc. This money should be going to programs that help offset the very incident she dealt with. Realistically how many people, how many seniors, do you think have ever been verbally assaulted by teens? I see it every day, multiple times a day. "You're fat and old, haha, why don't you just die!" It's almost a daily occurrence. Why don't we give each and everyone of those people $600,000 to help them feel better? If Karen Klein had her head on right she would take a small part of that money that she may ACTUALLY deserve, and the rest should be donated to organizations who can work to prevent this from happening again. What is to stop the next person from coming up with an idea to video a fight or an ordeal such as this one, and hope to "cash in" on it?

Let's start actually thinking for a split second before we donate that dollar, or 5 dollars, because we all know how easy it is to part with it one time. Who couldn't skip one trip to Starbucks or Tim Hortons, who couldn't look at their child of good fortune and tell them that today you don't get a Happy Meal because we are donating that $6 to someone who looks at any meal as a "Happy One"! Who couldn't decide to rent a movie and make popcorn for about $7 instead of taking the family out to the movies and spending upwards of $15-$20 per person just once a year? If you had a family of four, that one decision could save you between $50-$70 for that one night. Could you not in turn explain to your family how you would donate a percentage of that savings to help a child who may rarely or never get to go to the movie theatre for that experience? Wouldn't you be teaching your family the best lesson ever?

If anything I write about, or say resonates with you I implore you to find a way to do more, I know we all can! Please continue to support our youth, please continue to fight the good fight, and please continue to be willing to help! Please forward this along to anyone you may think would be interested.

As always I can be reached directly at joshua@joshuastern.ca, and to find out more please visit www.JoshuaStern.ca. I thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart for all that you do!