The wonderful world of perception; It truly is make or break!

This was actually the blog I was planning on writing last week, so instead of ditching it due to the overwhelming week I had, I've decided to do two posts this weekend. The second post will be all about the wonderful time I had yesterday at our 2nd Annual Celebrity Charity Basketball event called "Hoops For Hopes".

The reason I decided to do a post about perception is simple; it's very needed! Over the last almost 2 years now, since I began this current quest of mine, I have been asked one question more than any other one by a landslide. As I have shared my story with so many people, the number one question I get is, "How did you do it, how did you turn it all around?"

There it is, the golden question. "How did you do that?" It's a question that mankind has asked so many times and for a variety of reasons. Here is the secret and super special answer. Everyday I make a CONSCIOUS effort to be the person I want to be and to live the life I want to live. That is it, no great mystery there. To further illustrate my point I will give you this example. If in the past I would have depressed or negative thoughts, or perhaps I would be dealing with some memories that were anything but palatable, I would typically turn to drugs or crime to feel better. What I do now when I have those same experiences is I get out a pen and paper and I immediately write down exactly how I'm feeling and all the expletives and emotion that I can muster. Than I have a read over what I just spewed out and I do my best to analyze it, and understand what got me to that point in the first place.

As this process is underway I start to realize that the emotions that had all built up to a rapid boil, were slowly starting to make it's way back to a manageable simmer. Just by reading over what I had just written I almost get a 3rd party view to a very personal battle. It almost becomes humorous as I read things that I just wrote and yet I find myself thinking, "Really, that's what you want to do, that's ridiculous!" When I get to that point, I'm literally laughing as opposed to being angry, and I can get back to whatever else it is I need to do. The second part of my exercise is that I always have a copy of my "Life Map" with me. What I mean by Life Map is simple, it's basically a map or guide of who I want to be, how I'm going to do it, and why it's important to me. When I find that I am struggling or things are not going to plan, I pull out my Life Map, have a good read, and I remind myself that there is a bigger picture and a bigger plan going on here, and all I have to remember is to stay on the path I chose for myself and I should be okay.

In other words as far as I'm concerned it all comes down to perception! If I wake up in the morning and I tell myself life sucks and it's going to be a horrible day, well guess what, it most certainly will be. However, if I wake up and I tell myself that today is going to be all about new experiences, I'm going to have a great day, and the fact that I woke up breathing is already a pretty good thing in my books, you may just find that your day turns out a lot better than you expected. Let's not forget one of the oldest sayings we have, "Glass Half Empty or Glass Half Full", how do you want to view it! Notice how I didn't say how "DO" you view it? That's because I want you to realize it's not about how you do anything, it's about why you do it! If you want to have good days, and you want to enjoy life, than make it so. Take control of your life and you determine how and what works for you!

So there it is, no big mystery, and no magic cure. I still have times where I get mad, I still have times when I want to go back to who I once was, and I still want band-aid fixes because I became accustom to them over the past 25 years. The difference is that these days I take control of what's swirling around that busy brain of mine, and I don't allow it to waste time/energy on negativity. I am able to dissect my emotions surrounding the anger and frustration, and once that is the case, you are able to get passed it.

If you don't have a Life Map and you are unsure of how to start one, please feel free to contact me at joshua@joshuastern.ca and we will help you get on your way to building the life you've always wanted.