Change Is Essential, Without It We Deny Evolution!

I think we can all agree that it's definitely time for change. Now I know that there are many aspects of our lives and of this world that definitely need change, but the change I'm referring to is the essential one regarding our communities, our society, our education system, and most importantly the way we are raising our kids. That's correct, I said it, our kids. If they live in our world or our community, then we need to start looking at them as our children.

I think it's high time we recognize how desperately we need a major overhaul of our public school system for starters. The public school system needs a makeover, and badly!  Especially when we begin talking about grade-school, by which I am referring to kindergarten up until grade 6, we need to literally transform the way that these children are being taught. We need to put the emphasis on the right things and I think we're all getting to the point, and the level of consciousness, where we understand what is important and what is not important.  Specifically for kids between the ages of 4-5 years old, up until 11 or 12, do not need to be inundated with the majority of what they are being taught. Although math, science, history, geography, etc are always essential and will be tools that these children need, we also need to be more realistic and what they really need is to learn how to get along with each other, how to communicate properly, how to take care of their body and minds, how to eat properly, how to properly deal with emotions and confrontations, and I think we can all agree that being able to find Afghanistan on a world map or remember the date of the Spanish Revolution, is not nearly as important as the rest of what I've mentioned.

We need to continue to teach these children as they grow to adolescents and teenagers, and if fact we need to teach them for as long as they are in school how to deal with their emotions, how to understand and diffuse anger in themselves and others, how to understand frustration and loss. We should have a course that teaches our youth how to make the most out of every situation. I think that our young children in public school should have a home economics course again and teach kids how to bake, cook, sew, and essentially how to run a household. Maybe its time to start teaching our youth how to change the oil in your car, how to rotate and change tires, how to do the the simple and basic things that can save you hundreds if not a few thousand dollars a year in service because you can do that yourself. I know for myself that being an adult who cannot do those types of fairly simple things for my own car bothers me. I wish I learned about my car and how to protect that investment a hell of a lot more than what I learned in Science class. We need to start teaching these kids how much money the cost of living is and how they can start to prepare for their futures. We need to teach these kids the importance of family and how you better have a very clear idea of when and why you are bringing children of your own into this world.

Most importantly I think it's time that more people from our communities start to stand up and be honest with our kids. It's on us as adults to stand up and say, "hey wait a second you know what, a lot of what I learned in school was a big waste of time, a lot of what I learned in school has no bearing or effect on my adult life whatsoever"! I think that if adults took the time to really think about what it is that makes us successful as adults, we would clearly see and understand what our children so desperately need.

We were taught while growing up that if somebody else can't do the job who do we turn to? Do we look to someone else or do we look at ourselves? We look at ourselves and if nobody else wants to do the job then we do it! We need to take that mentality and we need to  expand on it a little bit more. We need to understand that also includes our community and our society. I am well aware of how overwhelming it is just dealing with yourself and your own family, but we need to do more. What if there's a kid in your neighborhood and you see him struggling and you know the parents are struggling why aren't you doing something about it? Why are you sitting around waiting for a time bomb to slowly tick down and then explode does that make sense to anybody out there?

Does it make any sense to sit and watch a train wreck about to happen and tell yourself I'm not going to do anything about it because how could I possibly stop a train wreck? Well you're right, you can't stop it, but does that mean you should just sit there and watch, or do you think you should start running up and down the railroad tracks screaming to alert the people of what you've seen? Maybe try to convince someone to jump off to their safety? Maybe get the conductor to throw on his breaks 100 meters earlier then originally planned?

Hopefully the point I'm trying to make is kind of clear but just when we think there's nothing we can do there's always something we can do. To take a golf analogy, you will miss 100% of your putts that don't make it to the hole. In other words you can't expect to be successful if you refuse to try! 

I remember being taught as a child and maybe this is a lesson that needs to be re-taught, when I walked by some garbage on the street, and my father or mother I don't recall who, asked me to pick it up. I remember saying that I didn't throw it there, so why should I pick it up? That's when they explained, it's not about who threw it there, it's about you live in this area so you should want to pick it up. Okay so I picked it up and then I came up with the next logical response. How in the world will it make a difference if I pick it up, this world is so big and there's so many people so what does it matter if I pick up one piece while hundreds of people throw another piece? I hope we all know what my father's response was, and if we don't there lies half the problem, but he responded with, "it doesn't matter what other people do, you do what you do because that's who you are, if you see garbage on the ground you pick it up because you know it doesn't belong. Maybe just maybe a few others will see what you did and it will encourage them to do the same or something similar!"

The point is you never know what can happen when you try, but one thing that you can guarantee yourself 100% of the time, is that inaction will definitely get you absolutely nowhere. Sitting there and thinking about doing something will get you know where! Let's just do some things differently, let's just take some chances, let's take some risks and let's try to go against the grain and do things a little differently. I think it's time that we recognize that this world has majorly changed over the last hundred years and how archaic is our school system? it is archaic, let's call a spade a spade, we need to have change, we need to stop sitting around waiting for the government, waiting for our neighbour, and waiting for our educators to do something about it. We need to get up in our own neighbourhood, maybe go door-to-door, maybe call all the local parents you know and rally some troops! Success, strength, focus and commitment are all contagious, and trust me when the fuel for all these emotions is protecting/helping children, who in the world doesn't want to help with that?

Maybe if we taught our children how to love properly and how to take care of their communities we would have a much better society, I don't know, but it sounds like a good start to me!

Wishing you all the best as always.

Please feel free to contact us directly at joshua@joshuastern.ca and your comments and support are always needed.

It's time to make a change!

When dealing with at risk youth it seems that we always come up with the typical responses as to what it was caused by. Whether it was a single-parent house, alcohol or drugs involved, poverty and all the other usual suspects. But at the end of the day one of the things I think we're all majorly ignoring is the family structure.

The family structure I'm referring to has nothing to do with money, it has nothing to do with poverty, it has nothing to do with alcoholism, drugs or any other problems, but it has to do with young people who are not being educated properly presently, and literally an entire generation who were not properly educated period. 

Obviously as these individuals grow they are having children of their own, and how could we possibly expect that they will be able to lead or guide their children any better than the last generation if we don't initiate change? So we now have a society full of families that are very flawed and very incapable. We have children who have grown up, and are growing up, failed by the system and failed by their parents. Then these kids are having kids, and how do we honestly think the situation will get any better until we take the initiative as Community members, family members, and just damn people that care about the world they live in and co-habitate in, and let's find a way to get in front of these children in order to help!

Are we really afraid to just start saying, "Hey wait a second maybe times have changed, maybe we're not in a big boom anymore, maybe our society should not be growing, so why are we populating like jackrabbits?" 

We need to tell our children, adolescents, teenagers, young adults and everybody else, that if YOU yourself are struggling, what are YOU thinking about bringing a child into this world? If YOU can't afford to eat, if YOU can't afford a car, if YOU can't afford a place to live what are YOU doing having a child? To take it a step further, if you are stressed out, anxious, easily aggravated and have a gloomy outlook on life, maybe you shouldn't be thinking about having a child! What chance does that child possibly have at success? Maybe it's time we change the paradigm and stop telling everyone that they should get married and have children because it's the natural progression of life. Said who? The government, the church, who came up with this amazing ideal and how many flipping years ago was it?? 

Here comes a really original and never thought up idea in the history of man kind so I hope you are prepared, "How about do what works for you?" I know, pretty insane, but it's how I truly feel. If we were all a little more aware, and probably a little more honest with ourselves, I think we would all be very surprised with where our wants for a family and children really come from. The key to life is LOVE, not children, not family, not money, not a house, nothing but love. So where in the definition of love does it say you must have children, especially when you can't afford to raise them, or be there for them? You can have and give love without family or children. Trust me there are more than enough super positive and happy people that are looking to share some. Heck, just think about all the people or family members that are currently in your life that need or want love? Instead of lecturing someone you care about, try giving them a hug and telling them everything will be okay, that is love!

Was the point of having children really so both parents could work jobs in order to survive, and all the while we can pay a daycare, nanny, teenage babysitter, or someone else to raise them? Maybe the reason for having children was sort of like a status symbol, "Hey look at us, we have kids and a house, aren't we special!" Sounds retarded doesn't it, but does it sound that far off to some of you? I truly believe we can make a major impact and really offset some of the problems we face today. We need to educate more, we need to communicate more, but most of all we must band together as there is always strength in numbers. We can create change, we have seen it been done all throughout our history and even at times where the majority said it wasn't possible. The more people that are talking about it, the more impact we will have! 

If we want to really take a step towards reducing the risks that all our youth face today then we have to be willing to get in front of them and be honest! We must tell them that the key to success is their own individual happiness, and I don't know about you, but I would never be happy having a child that I had to sacrifice everything about myself just in order for us all to survive or scrape by. That does not sound like a recipe for success, what do you think?

As always I can be reached directly at joshua@joshuastern.ca and I hope to hear from you. Have a listen for me today on the Scott Thompson Show at 12:10pm EST.

Thank you for your time and I hope you have a wonderful day.

Love

I have been tinkering with the idea of a "Love" post for quite some time, but for a variety of reasons I hadn't pulled the trigger until now. I must admit that outside of being busy and dealing with life, one of the major reasons for me not getting to this post sooner is that it hits very close to home and I wasn't sure I was ready for feedback that could leave me feeling vulnerable about myself.

It's kind of ironic when you think about it, I have had no problem talking about my sexual assaults as a youngster, my days totting guns and being a criminal, or the struggles I've had with drugs and addiction, but when it comes to the subject of Love, I get nervous and intimidated. It's almost as if there is this constant voice in the back of my head that says, "You're a man, you aren't supposed to feel this way about love, you're not supposed to be soft!"

The moment I begin to talk about those types of emotions it's amazing the way people can react to you. Well I'm here to tell you that I don't buy that for a second, and I'm going against the grain yet again. Just as I believe that it takes a strong man to cry, or ask for help as opposed to never shedding a tear or trying to figure everything out for yourself, I also believe that if I am going to be condemned for the feelings and thoughts I have, so be it. I'd rather be a part of that world than to be a part of a world where I can't say what I think or describe how I feel.

Now I know you have all heard of the saying, "There's a very thin line between love and hate", and I have to tell you that based on my experiences this seems to be one of the most accurate statements I've ever heard. I have done things, had things done to me, witnessed and heard of more than enough horror stories on this topic and I'm sure the majority of you have too. Maybe the problem is that we throw the word around way too loosely, or maybe it's because we love way too many things. Think about it, I love my soup, I love my favourite pair of jeans, I love my mom and I love my son, but I don't love all these things in the same way. Yet we don't have other words to describe the same emotion.

In the past five years, and I'm 36 now, I have heard of and witnessed the most mind boggling things that people, who I can only assume are either extremely hurt or just cruel or nuts, have done to their supposed "loved ones". I clearly am referring to individuals in relationships. From infidelities, to lies and backstabbing for all kinds of reasons, how could love ever drive people to do those things? If there is one thing I am constantly scratching my head about it's gotta be that one. I am aware that my perception only allows me to understand/relate so much, but I have been through my fair share and I have been surrounded by many people who have all gone through some pretty incredible things and yet when it comes to love, I still can't understand how people can do such things. It's worse than a gang war or a drug battle the foul things that people will do who supposedly are or were in love with another. I still am unsure of how you can actually fall out of love with someone. To me, and I know it's only my opinion, but if you loved someone once, you will always love them. If not, maybe it was never really love.

I guess at the end of the day it's just another one of life's many mysteries and to me, you can either spend a life time trying to solve the mystery, or you just move along. Is it really any different from many other aspects of life that can get us down? Look at it this way, lets just say you have been in bad relationship after bad relationship, and we will need another post to discuss what it is about you that leads to these repeat situations, but even if I put that number at 5 bad relationships in a row I want you to think about it this way. Should anyone let their personal experiences with a few people determine how the rest of the world would treat you? If there are 10 people out there that broke your heart, maybe there are a million more that would repair it? Do you see how we just flipped a negative to a positive.

Maybe if we changed our outlook on many situations they would get a little easier to digest. For me Love is grand, I'll admit I'm cautious and easily jolted based on past experiences, but I can also tell you that it never stops me from exploring the possibility of love. Besides, which is the better way to live your life, full of love and feeling sure that love will always be a part of you, or devout of love and believing love is a sham and you'll never find what you're looking for? Once again I'll leave you with this simple thought and hopefully you can draw the comparisons. If I wake up every day and tell myself that life sucks, there's no such thing as love, and I hate everything, what kind of day do you think I would have?

Let love in, let it be your guiding light, and even when someone comes along and tries to extinguish that light, just move on and understand that individual needs to see your light shine even brighter.

As always I can be reached directly at joshua@joshuastern.ca and I hope you enjoyed my foray into the  topic of love.