The sudden suicide of Robin Williams is a tragic one for many reasons, but it's significantly magnified when the world looses someone from the public spotlight. We typically tend to feel like we were closer to that individual then we really were. Especially this day and age with all the information at our disposal, we feel like we know something about actors, musicians, professional athletes and other extreme public figures. So much so that a large number of us feel like we can speculate what these individuals lives are truly like and we even get to judge them too.
Other than the fact that I definitely know and have worked with many, many people who suffer from similar symptoms as Robin Williams, and to take a line from that cheesy hair-club infomercial that ran when I was a child, I'm not just the president of The Josh Project, but I'm also a client! The only reason I became involved in this line of work is because I knew how much I struggled with certain things and I didn't have it half as bad as some of the stories I would hear. It was for that reason alone that I decided we had to go back and help as many youth as possible.
I actually toiled with the idea for more than a few days about posting anything regarding Robin Williams, but the more I would read others' posts dissecting and commenting on what it must have been like for him, I felt like I had to say something. If it's one thing the honest medical practitioners and behavioral specialists agree on, its that each case of depression or any other mental/emotional disorder is unique and at the end of the day we only know what that individual tells us, as far as having an accurate picture of what they are experiencing. To this I will simply say that no matter what a man does to imagine/relate to what childbirth is like, there is simply no way that he could actually experience the same feelings, emotions and physical pain of a woman in labor.
For me, the saddest part of this whole suicide is that here was a man who rather than face the demons he had inside and get as much help as he could, he believed his value to this world was by playing the clown. A man who just accepted his fate and everything else was like waiting for the sands of time to run out. I didn't know Robin Williams, but I've known a young man we will call Terry and at 17 years old Terry was a mess.
Inside he only felt darkness and despair and as he explained it to us, each day he felt as if he was a world champion just for making it through another 24 hours. The most interesting part of this story is that Terry was one of the best athletes in his city and he was on a one-way road to stardom, money and a career in professional sports. There was just one problem, Terry felt as if someone else was pulling the strings. He felt as if everyone else wanted this life for him except for him. It was slowly going to kill him and he knew it. But just watch the tears swell up in his eyes as he would describe the joy his parents, friends and even girlfriend had when it came to Terry and his bright future. Terry was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Living the life he wanted to or pleasing a large group of people around him at his own sacrifice.
Believe it or not it took two suicide attempts before Terry's family finally clued in, and thankfully this story has a happy ending. Terry hung up his skates and he went back to the beginning and he and his family re-discovered who Terry is. The scariest part of this story from my perspective is that this is a very familiar story and it starts at a very early age.
The truth of the matter, and I will probably upset more than a few with this next comment, is that an individual suffering from anything mental is the ONLY person on the planet that is capable of turning it around! Prescription drugs are a band-aid fix and more times than not they lead to more problems than the individual had in the first place. It's honestly one of those scenario's where if you haven't "been there and done that", you will never understand. For an individual that has never known what it's like to suffer from a mental or emotional disorder, trust me when I say you have ZERO idea what it is really like.
This next point might get a little much for some, but I'm only doing the best I can to articulate a point, which I believe to be of great significance. It is in no way, shape or form a medical diagnosis or anything remotely along those lines. It is simply my thoughts on a very controversial and truthfully unknown topic. I'm certain we can all understand when I talk about the little voices in all our heads. The good and the bad. Just like in every cartoon we have ever watched where the character has a mini angel version and a devil version of themselves show up on their shoulders to see which side will determine the choice the character makes. Obviously this is an exaggerated version, but not too far from the truth. When a person has a mental disorder, in my humble opinion, they are losing the battle with these voices. They are no longer in control. That is why we give them medication. We are trying to shut the voices off. The only problem is we typically turn that individual into a walking zombie because turning off those voices tends to turn off a whole lot more as well.
If I had one wish it would be that we have some sort of safe and easy, early detection/assessment program in place so we could determine which children need our help more than others. I also wish that we would remove stigmas and negativity surrounding these issues and make it more accommodating and less intrusive to ask for help. But in all honesty, I wish that we would all stop lying to ourselves and stop ever thinking for one minute that life is supposed to be smooth, easy or a piece of cake. We must teach our youth that preparation is the best solution for any problem. Therefore we tell them there will be hurt, crap, pain, trouble, bad people, drugs, alcohol, and much more and if we can make our youth accept these things rather than try to convince them they don't exist or only happen to bad people, maybe just maybe these youth will stop taking minor things such as a boy or girl breaking up with them as something to die over!
As my son and I watched Robin Williams in RV last night, a family favorite, my son turned to me and said, "You know dad, Robin Williams is one of the best ever, it's too bad we won't get to see any new movies, but isn't it great that we have all the old ones to remember him by!"
I couldn't have said it better myself. The world lost an incredible light recently and I hope these moments become fewer and further between.
Thank you for your time.
Other than the fact that I definitely know and have worked with many, many people who suffer from similar symptoms as Robin Williams, and to take a line from that cheesy hair-club infomercial that ran when I was a child, I'm not just the president of The Josh Project, but I'm also a client! The only reason I became involved in this line of work is because I knew how much I struggled with certain things and I didn't have it half as bad as some of the stories I would hear. It was for that reason alone that I decided we had to go back and help as many youth as possible.
I actually toiled with the idea for more than a few days about posting anything regarding Robin Williams, but the more I would read others' posts dissecting and commenting on what it must have been like for him, I felt like I had to say something. If it's one thing the honest medical practitioners and behavioral specialists agree on, its that each case of depression or any other mental/emotional disorder is unique and at the end of the day we only know what that individual tells us, as far as having an accurate picture of what they are experiencing. To this I will simply say that no matter what a man does to imagine/relate to what childbirth is like, there is simply no way that he could actually experience the same feelings, emotions and physical pain of a woman in labor.
For me, the saddest part of this whole suicide is that here was a man who rather than face the demons he had inside and get as much help as he could, he believed his value to this world was by playing the clown. A man who just accepted his fate and everything else was like waiting for the sands of time to run out. I didn't know Robin Williams, but I've known a young man we will call Terry and at 17 years old Terry was a mess.
Inside he only felt darkness and despair and as he explained it to us, each day he felt as if he was a world champion just for making it through another 24 hours. The most interesting part of this story is that Terry was one of the best athletes in his city and he was on a one-way road to stardom, money and a career in professional sports. There was just one problem, Terry felt as if someone else was pulling the strings. He felt as if everyone else wanted this life for him except for him. It was slowly going to kill him and he knew it. But just watch the tears swell up in his eyes as he would describe the joy his parents, friends and even girlfriend had when it came to Terry and his bright future. Terry was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Living the life he wanted to or pleasing a large group of people around him at his own sacrifice.
Believe it or not it took two suicide attempts before Terry's family finally clued in, and thankfully this story has a happy ending. Terry hung up his skates and he went back to the beginning and he and his family re-discovered who Terry is. The scariest part of this story from my perspective is that this is a very familiar story and it starts at a very early age.
The truth of the matter, and I will probably upset more than a few with this next comment, is that an individual suffering from anything mental is the ONLY person on the planet that is capable of turning it around! Prescription drugs are a band-aid fix and more times than not they lead to more problems than the individual had in the first place. It's honestly one of those scenario's where if you haven't "been there and done that", you will never understand. For an individual that has never known what it's like to suffer from a mental or emotional disorder, trust me when I say you have ZERO idea what it is really like.
This next point might get a little much for some, but I'm only doing the best I can to articulate a point, which I believe to be of great significance. It is in no way, shape or form a medical diagnosis or anything remotely along those lines. It is simply my thoughts on a very controversial and truthfully unknown topic. I'm certain we can all understand when I talk about the little voices in all our heads. The good and the bad. Just like in every cartoon we have ever watched where the character has a mini angel version and a devil version of themselves show up on their shoulders to see which side will determine the choice the character makes. Obviously this is an exaggerated version, but not too far from the truth. When a person has a mental disorder, in my humble opinion, they are losing the battle with these voices. They are no longer in control. That is why we give them medication. We are trying to shut the voices off. The only problem is we typically turn that individual into a walking zombie because turning off those voices tends to turn off a whole lot more as well.
If I had one wish it would be that we have some sort of safe and easy, early detection/assessment program in place so we could determine which children need our help more than others. I also wish that we would remove stigmas and negativity surrounding these issues and make it more accommodating and less intrusive to ask for help. But in all honesty, I wish that we would all stop lying to ourselves and stop ever thinking for one minute that life is supposed to be smooth, easy or a piece of cake. We must teach our youth that preparation is the best solution for any problem. Therefore we tell them there will be hurt, crap, pain, trouble, bad people, drugs, alcohol, and much more and if we can make our youth accept these things rather than try to convince them they don't exist or only happen to bad people, maybe just maybe these youth will stop taking minor things such as a boy or girl breaking up with them as something to die over!
As my son and I watched Robin Williams in RV last night, a family favorite, my son turned to me and said, "You know dad, Robin Williams is one of the best ever, it's too bad we won't get to see any new movies, but isn't it great that we have all the old ones to remember him by!"
I couldn't have said it better myself. The world lost an incredible light recently and I hope these moments become fewer and further between.
Thank you for your time.
Knowing that our bodies is the temple of God and there's a higher power keeps us form doing harm to it. Just another View.
ReplyDeleteIt's not so much that we get over-involved in the analysis and discussions of other people's lives and action - surely distractions that keep us from the main task: examining ourselves - but that we seem to not learn (only be diverted and entertained) from the sad consequences of other people's having done the same.
ReplyDeleteVery good blog with hardly an off note - right on, Josh.
Josh, thank you for your thoughtful tribute to Robin Williams and the much needed discussion about mental health, our youth, and conscious "preparation"! Thanks for the good work! Very encouraging!
ReplyDeleteUrsula