Growth

Everyday I question so many things and I find it makes life very difficult at times.  It's hard for me to have a moment of peace or tranquility when there is so much I want to accomplish and so many thoughts running through my mind.  I told my wife recently that the reason it looked as if I was struggling to relax on a recent cottage trip, was because for some strange reason I felt that I haven't earned it yet.  What I mean by that is I've had many struggles, and many hard times, but there have also been many amazing times and some very relaxing times, therefore at this moment I want to get things done before I re-enter the relaxing faze.  I am so driven right now it is unreal, and a couple of the side effects are impatience and doubt.  I finally understand what one of my friends told me now.  He said the reason I will be successful is because I won't quit, no matter what.  It's true, even though I am impatient, and sometimes allow the doubt of others and even myself to creep in from time to time, I have learned how to ignore those negative thoughts, and quickly remind myself of the journey I'm on, and to only remain focused on that.  It's quite a remarkable feeling, and as one of my close friends recently commented to me, it's like I have matured 5-10 years in a span of 8-12 months.  I am happier, and the fact that I wake everyday and feel like I have something positive and fulfilling to work on is one of the best feelings ever.  I almost feel like a child in many ways.  My eyes are wide open, my tail is bushy, and I'm ready to learn and explore.  Who knew at 35 years old I could feel like this again.  I guess maybe an old dog can learn new tricks.  Not that I am old, but I have definitely lived, and I have definitely been in more than my fair share of negative routines that I thought I would never escape.  Keep that light at the end of your tunnel, please understand that there is always a time for change and growth, and we must continue to reach for these things.  It's the secret of life, keep evolving, keep moving forward!