Early this year I posted a blog on the proposals of Bills 13 & 14, essentially know as the "Anti-bullying Bill". In a nutshell it gives Police the ability to criminally charge our students, and most importantly all schools are allowed to create, and use the specific wording, Gay/Straight Alliances in order to educate and create more tolerance.
Before I go any further I want to make it abundantly clear that I am so very behind ANY club or group who teaches and preaches acceptance and tolerance!
Now that I have that taken care of, I would like to air some of my concerns, and I would really appreciate as much feedback as possible as I believe this is a very important topic for the entire population. I'm not quite sure I understand why Gay students have become the poster children for bullying victims, but I for one am quite certain that Gay students are not the only students being bullied, and in fact, they probably aren't even the top group of bullied students. I work with at-risk youth every week, and I recently ran a certificate program with Youth Justice Services and I want to be very clear about this, not one of the kids I worked with are gay, or have ever picked on someone for being gay. The majority of the victims we worked with reported the majority of bullying focuses around appearance, weight, skin colour, clothing, and any visible physical or mental disabilities. Sexuality was the last thing on our list!!
The majority of the bully's we interviewed even went as far as saying they weren't interested in gay students, they didn't really register to them. I myself was raised with a father whose best friend was gay and acceptance and tolerance was something we grew up with. Unfortunately most people from my generation did not have the same experiences. I think it's incredible that we are taking the steps to educate and create more awareness, but I'm not sure that High School is the right place to start. Shouldn't we start with the younger kids? Maybe we should have Gay/Straight Alliances as early as Grade 1? Wouldn't those kids most likely grow to be extremely tolerant? At the very least we should hope so, because if it wouldn't work with the younger kids, what makes us think it will work with the older ones? Which age demographic are typically the best when it comes to learning new things and incorporating change? Would that be the young or the old?
My other concern is who will regulate these clubs? Who will ensure that the students who join such clubs will be protected, as opposed to possibly painting a very large target on their backs? What happens when there are over 1000 students at a specific school and only 10 of them join the club? How do we ensure those 10 kids are safe? Are we forgetting the other victims? Do we have a club for overweight students, or a club for the kids who are not athletic? We must think about all the victims. I for one was never gay, and that did nothing to lessen the terrible bullying I was a victim of for 2 years. Should I feel less important, or should I feel like my plight is not a valid one because I'm bullied for other reasons?
I believe this is just a band-aid fix, and I compare it to a community that is desperate for an arrest after some heinous crime had been committed a little too close to home. What I mean by that is society seems to need an arrest and a culprit behind bars before we can forget what happened and move on with our daily routines. This is a dangerous way to live. I'm terribly sorry that there have been some very unnecessary suicides over the past few years, but when we actually look at the number of students versus the number of suicides, it is so minuscule it wouldn't even register. Why don't we talk about that?
We need to take time and actually come up with more long term and complete ways to offset the At-Risk Youth phenomenon, which both bully and victim fall under. What we are doing now is just a rushed, "call to action" kind of mentality. We just need a fix, a solution, and we need it immediately! That way all the parents and community leaders whose children have not committed suicide, can go back to their daily routines without it even registering!
Please take time to leave feedback, argue with me, or whatever. I am open to all opinions and the best way to come up with great solutions, is to have plenty of communication and plenty of dialogue.
Before I go any further I want to make it abundantly clear that I am so very behind ANY club or group who teaches and preaches acceptance and tolerance!
Now that I have that taken care of, I would like to air some of my concerns, and I would really appreciate as much feedback as possible as I believe this is a very important topic for the entire population. I'm not quite sure I understand why Gay students have become the poster children for bullying victims, but I for one am quite certain that Gay students are not the only students being bullied, and in fact, they probably aren't even the top group of bullied students. I work with at-risk youth every week, and I recently ran a certificate program with Youth Justice Services and I want to be very clear about this, not one of the kids I worked with are gay, or have ever picked on someone for being gay. The majority of the victims we worked with reported the majority of bullying focuses around appearance, weight, skin colour, clothing, and any visible physical or mental disabilities. Sexuality was the last thing on our list!!
The majority of the bully's we interviewed even went as far as saying they weren't interested in gay students, they didn't really register to them. I myself was raised with a father whose best friend was gay and acceptance and tolerance was something we grew up with. Unfortunately most people from my generation did not have the same experiences. I think it's incredible that we are taking the steps to educate and create more awareness, but I'm not sure that High School is the right place to start. Shouldn't we start with the younger kids? Maybe we should have Gay/Straight Alliances as early as Grade 1? Wouldn't those kids most likely grow to be extremely tolerant? At the very least we should hope so, because if it wouldn't work with the younger kids, what makes us think it will work with the older ones? Which age demographic are typically the best when it comes to learning new things and incorporating change? Would that be the young or the old?
My other concern is who will regulate these clubs? Who will ensure that the students who join such clubs will be protected, as opposed to possibly painting a very large target on their backs? What happens when there are over 1000 students at a specific school and only 10 of them join the club? How do we ensure those 10 kids are safe? Are we forgetting the other victims? Do we have a club for overweight students, or a club for the kids who are not athletic? We must think about all the victims. I for one was never gay, and that did nothing to lessen the terrible bullying I was a victim of for 2 years. Should I feel less important, or should I feel like my plight is not a valid one because I'm bullied for other reasons?
I believe this is just a band-aid fix, and I compare it to a community that is desperate for an arrest after some heinous crime had been committed a little too close to home. What I mean by that is society seems to need an arrest and a culprit behind bars before we can forget what happened and move on with our daily routines. This is a dangerous way to live. I'm terribly sorry that there have been some very unnecessary suicides over the past few years, but when we actually look at the number of students versus the number of suicides, it is so minuscule it wouldn't even register. Why don't we talk about that?
We need to take time and actually come up with more long term and complete ways to offset the At-Risk Youth phenomenon, which both bully and victim fall under. What we are doing now is just a rushed, "call to action" kind of mentality. We just need a fix, a solution, and we need it immediately! That way all the parents and community leaders whose children have not committed suicide, can go back to their daily routines without it even registering!
Please take time to leave feedback, argue with me, or whatever. I am open to all opinions and the best way to come up with great solutions, is to have plenty of communication and plenty of dialogue.
so dead on!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletecannot agree more ....... well stated
ReplyDeleteI can see your points. But I think having specific anti bullying programs for gay kids is at least a good start. We must do more.
ReplyDeleteThis is right on so many counts and reminds me of how the pendulum swung drastically to the other side when women's liberation became both accepted and then, immediately overtaken by political correctness.
ReplyDeleteNow it's the gay community that has a disproportionately louder voice and political clout (combined with the phenomenon to which you refer: criminalising aberrant behaviour so the rest of us can "get on with life") and the result is the bills just get passed with little debate.
Most everyone applauds; the issue is relegated to the back burner; the problem IS NOT addressed, much less solved.
Everything has to start somewhere and since suicide by young kids is a very strong statement, the gay issue is being addressed more urgently. What you have said in your blog is very valid and just as this gay bullying issue has been addressed, all other bullying issues also need to be looked at now, rather then waiting for a major catastrophy (like a suicide or...)to happen before the government will jump into action.
ReplyDeleteI am from the older generation and I was bullied for 2 years during junior high because we were too poor for me to have the correct clothers to wear to school. It has been my experience that sexuality is not what bullying is all about but what can be seen such as clothes, skin color, life style [trailer trash]. Ah, that was a fun time for me also since my family had to live in a trailer park and anyone that lived there was picked on in school. You know, it was not the proper place live. So in my opinion the goverment or anyone else that is pinpointing gay as the issue is way off base. Tolerance should be taught for differences from the norm. I remember there was a lot of sadness and grief and yes there were sucides also because people were poor or different [like hariy legs because here parents would not allow her to shave her legs]. Yup, really sad and for what because society said this should not be so.
ReplyDelete