Why is it that I could wake up everyday and no matter how positive of a day I'd like it to be, I can't seem to make it my reality. I'm not saying I sit in bed and cry all day, nor am I saying that I can't function daily, but what I am saying is that while I walk around trying to show the world that it hasn't got the best of me, it feels sometimes like a dark cloud follows me around.
Is it because of the sexual assault I suffered as a young teenager? Is it because of the isolation I felt from about 9 years of age to my early 30's? Maybe it's because of the extreme violence I witnessed on the streets and being involved with the underbelly of society? Or maybe it's just that I have experienced so much pain that I just want to raise the white flag and start waving it hysterically? I'm not saying I'm the only one who has ever experienced these things, nor am I saying that I have experienced the worst that life can offer. What I am saying though, is as far as MY WORLD, and MY PERCEPTION, I've had more than enough.
I believe that if we all tried to understand a little more about each individual, maybe there would be a lot less judgement in the world. It should never be a contest about who had it worse, or who should be more "messed up", based on experiences they had. If we can all agree that individuals process things very differently, and that there are several other factors that make an individual more resilient than another, why do we point fingers so often and allow our own perception to determine the worth of another's feelings? Dismissing and diminishing someone else's feelings will never result in a positive outcome so why bother? Can we not understand that saying absolutely nothing, even if we think the person is completely unreasonable, is the best thing to do? When someone has the courage to openly and honestly tell you how they are feeling, do not confuse that as someone who is asking you for advice. Advice is only good when it's asked for. Majority of the time that individual may want to just vent and let it all out. All they want from you is for you to react as if they ARE NOT CRAZY, and maybe try to make them feel like they are not alone. If our eye's "bug out", and we right away start trying to teach them or instruct them, they may feel like they are doing something wrong. Is there anything wrong with being upset or hurt, and wanting to share it with someone who you trust?
Could you imagine behaving this way with a child? What do we think we are telling our children if we diminish the way they process? Do we understand that when we behave in this manner we are telling that individual that they are unaware of their own feelings and emotions, when to appropriately use them, and essentially we are beginning to strip them of their ability to feel confident. To make a ridiculously obvious point, could you imagine a world where everyone of us had another person that followed us around and told us when it was appropriate to feel sad, hurt, happy, angry, etc.? That is almost where we are today and it's something I will dedicate my life to changing. Nobody will ever tell me how happy I should feel in a certain scenario, nor will I ever allow anyone to tell me how much I should cry, or what should make me want to put my fist through a wall. The only person that gets to determine the levels to which they will be affected is that specific individual.
We don't fully understand, and I don't think we ever will, what makes one person experience tragedy, and they literally lose their minds and can no longer function in mainstream society, versus another individual who spends 5 minutes shaking his head before he moves on and forgets. But the number one thing that offsets this phenomenon is to build resilience from as early an age as possible. The more we communicate with our children, the more they learn to be confident and comfortable expressing themselves & their feelings, and the more we can teach them that mistakes are meant to be made (and for a long time; adults make many mistakes too) and it's what we do after we make the mistake that determines who we are, than the more we increase the chances of successful growth.
I believe the problem with waking up happy is a problem that I created and I allowed to control me for the better part of 20 years. Anyone who believes being happy or positive is just something that happens, I'd like to talk, but for me and many others out there, it's actually something that you have to work at. You must make it part of your daily routine just like anything else. It takes a conscious effort to not allow negative thoughts and energy enter your mind, let alone consume it. So maybe if we actually thought of it in the same regard as losing 10 pounds, we might just have a shot. If we can understand that using the same analogy it would be the hardest 10 pounds you ever tried to lose, than once again we are beginning to get the picture. Once we begin to get the picture, than we can do something about it!
As always please feel free to comment and pass along to anyone you think may enjoy! Maybe even pass it on to some people you think won't enjoy, who knows, the result may surprise us all.
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