This is a section from my upcoming book, Pages 71-73.
So off I went with the police, and I was processed, booked, and placed in a cell. This was not a fun, Hollywood experience; this was one of the scariest moments of my young life. I was ushered into the “phone call cell” whereas opposed to the movies, I didn’t get one phone call, I had a certain amount of time, (I believe it was 10 minutes), to make as many calls as I could. First I called the guy who set me up and I told him he had better make whatever phone calls necessary in order to get me out of there or he might just meet a few of my friends. Obviously I worded it in a way that whoever was listening in to my calls would not be alarmed. Secondly, I called my father, and after I explained what happened, it appeared to me that he was mad that I had called at such a late hour and disturbed him. I wasn’t allowed to speak to my mom, and he told me everything will work out, and if not I should call him back tomorrow!? I honestly think I lost a part of me at that moment. There I was a fresh faced, barely 19 year old kid, sitting in a cell in Los Angeles with nobody to call but my street friends! I felt extremely alone and isolated, but I remember telling myself that as long as I’m still breathing, I’ll be fine! It's very surreal being locked up, I felt like a caged animal on display! No matter how loud or long you yelled, nobody cared or came to see what was wrong, in fact what I received in response was "shut your mouth or I'll give you something to scream about"!! Usually if you were truly unruly, the on duty officers would place a more hardened criminal in your cell to help calm you down! It's kind of like letting a pit-bull off its chain just before a dog fight! All the dog cares about is destroying his opposition and foolishly trying to please his master! In this case, the officers were the masters, and they would trade favours and privileges with their "pit-bull" after a job well done! In my opinion, and I’m not saying it’s all Police Officers, but the majority of the ones my crew or I have had run-ins with, the only difference between them and us is a badge that says they are allowed to carry weapons and use as much force (including lethal) as is necessary, and it’s the officers who typically decide whether or not to abuse this. I lay on my bunk and sat awake all night thinking about my mom, and all the things she’d ever told me! How could someone so special and destined be here, sitting in this cell? Why was everything so difficult for me? I closed my eyes for a second and tried to relax. It was then I heard my mother’s voice without her presence for the first time!! It was so real; I thought I was losing my mind! My mother told me “The road to success is never an easy one, and the one thing you must learn in order to get there is you have to know what it’s like to feel completely alone”! She continued, “You have to be able to depend on you and you alone, and once you figure that out, you’ll see how many people will be there to help”! “Just remember what I’ve always told you, you are destined for greatness, but I never said it would be easy, and I never said it would happen quickly”! I felt a calm come over me like never before, and even though I was shaking my head, asking myself what on earth she was trying to say to me, I knew then like I’ve always known, even when things get tough, everything will work out. My mantra and answer to whenever someone would ask me how I was doing were one in the same, “Still breathing”! I felt as long as I was still breathing I always had a chance, and until someone took that away, I was going to reach my destiny no matter what it took. The hardest part was other than knowing I would make an impact on the world, and be successful, I had no idea what my destiny was. I didn’t sleep that night, but I felt extremely relaxed, almost like I was in meditation or something similar.
No comments:
Post a Comment