What's the Solution?

The number one thing we all seem to be searching for when it comes to the shootings, gang violence, and in general, what is happening to our youth, is "What's the solution"? Before I even try to tackle that one I'd like to focus for a moment on some things that are NOT the solution.

1. Our government - The government is not here to raise your children, nor are they here to make it easier for you to raise your children, maybe a simple definition of what government is and what they are responsible for would be a better start? I'm sorry but it was not the government who made you have children, it was you. As opposed to blaming the government, or anyone else for that matter, let's take the time and energy that it takes to complain and blame and let's turn it into some positive actions.

2. The Guns - I will start by using my favourite quote when it comes to this one, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people!" I am not a gun owner, and I don't believe I need one, but at the same time, I do strongly believe that a gun cannot load itself, jump into someones hand, and fire on it's own. We need to stop kidding ourselves into believing it's the guns. Look how many people are killed each year by an automobile, significantly more than by a gun, yet nobody seeks a ban on cars. I know it sounds stupid, but come on people, let's be real. Banning guns will never stop the use, or sale of illegal guns, and those are the guns that are being used in these crimes anyways. It is not the legal gun owners.

3. The Courts and Justice System - While tougher sentencing is definitely appropriate in many cases, we must not lose sight of the kids who are committing crimes and the first time offenders. There have to be more ways to rehabilitate and more programs that encourage and support these kids and first time offenders. If they become repeat offenders, then we can "throw the book" at them.

The solution to me is more programming, more community support through organizations and volunteers (Yes I said it, Volunteers), and we need to incorporate new programs into the school curriculum. We need to start assisting these children who are not getting what they need at home as early as possible. If we start at the kindergarten level and don't stop throughout high school, than these children have a far better chance of avoiding becoming at-risk. If we had more "holding tanks" for our youth such as the Marion's Place project we are working on, than kids would be engaged in activity, positively supported, and most importantly supervised when parents or caregivers are not able.

As I took part in The Roy Green Show again this weekend I was part of a panel that were talking about gun violence and the youth, and what we can do to solve the problem. I thought everyone on the panel made really great points but I was saddened by the closing comments. When asked if there would be change or if things were going to continue/get worse, mostly everyone agreed they'd continue/get worse, but they also commented how they didn't think anything would change and people would just keep talking. That's when I said how I believe regardless of what the person next to me is doing or saying, I am fully capable of initiating change and making a difference. Guess what, so are all of you. Let's stop talking about what needs to be done and let's actually start doing more.

To find out more please visit www.joshuastern.ca and as always I appreciate your comments, feedback, and support.

Scarborough Shootings

I typically try my best to post a new blog once per week, but every now and again I feel extremely moved and I have to find the time to post something extra. The events of the last few days in Toronto definitely have me in that frame of mind!

For those of you who are unaware, and I hope that's a minuscule number, there was a horrific and tragic event that took place on Monday evening July 16. What was supposed to be a local BBQ for youngsters with goodie bags, food, and water ballon's quickly became an out of control block party. Apparently do to the wonderful social outreach of Facebook & Twitter, somehow the birthday bbq became a "Free Hennessey Cognac" party. A few of the actual tweets were:

   "The Hennessy BlockO's today, you coming??? (Posted by Tamica Molson at 12:50pm Monday)

   "#HennessyBlockParty ahhhh let's go, everybody come out!!! (Posted by Justin Bieber..XOX at 9:30pm)

   "Momma niced me a hole bottle of henny" (Posted by Elijah Talber at 10:43pm, moments before the shootings began)

All of these twitter messages were found in a Toronto Star article by Jenni Dunning titled "A Twitter timeline before and after the chaos". It was printed in the Wednesday July 18th issue of The Star.

Needless to say I am shocked, embarrassed and appalled, with very little emphasis on the shock part, and a lot of emphasis on the latter two. I want to first state how sorry I am for all the families that now have to deal with the tragedy of this horrific event, and I am extremely saddened by the loss of any life, especially two innocent bystanders. But this is where my sympathy ends!

Enough is enough! How is it possible that we can just turn a blind eye and accept that this incident took place because of a bad neighbourhood, or lower incomes, or any other of the usual suspects! Let's start calling a spade a spade! Parents and other members of this community, I hold you personally responsible for the deaths of those two kids, and for the rest of the people who were injured!

If you expect me to believe for one second that the parents of some of these kids that belong to "Galloway Boys" or "Danzig Boys" are completely unaware of what their kids are up to, I say bullshit! Let's hold the people accountable that should be held accountable. It's not the government and how little support they offer, it's not the schools and educators, it's the parents! Parents who may have grown up at-risk or worse themselves, and then they have kids of their own and they forget to raise them. How is the rest of the community not up in arms about this same thing? Stop looking for someone to blame, and if you live in that area and you turn a blind eye to what goes on, you are as responsible as the shooter.

If you don't know that your son or daughter belongs to a gang, carries a weapon, sells or does drugs, then guess what, you aren't parents, and you don't DESERVE children. That's right, I said DESERVE!!! Children are a gift and they should be viewed and treated as such. In case you are unsure just how much of a gift they are, go talk to someone who can't have any! If you don't want to be a parent, or you believe it's too much for you, trust me there is someone waiting that will give that child everything they need. I am tired of kids being screwed up and abandoned by their families and then they are the ones left to deal with the consequences and live with the aftermath if they do make it to adulthood.

The day after the shootings, on AM 1010, a 15 year old from the neighbourhood, who actually knew the young girl who was killed, when asked how he feels about the shooting that took place, his response was "I'm over it!"

Really, I'm over it? A 15 year old kid, less than 24 hours later says he's over it? That is the most telling part of the problem. Do we really think more money or more programs are going to change that kids views? Not a chance. Those types of things come from early stages of development and they fall solely on the shoulders of the parents. If a 15 year old doesn't relate to the tragedy of a fatal shooting, especially in their own neighbourhood and someone they knew, that's because they have been programmed not to!

My organization and I are working very hard at getting into the community and having an event to bring back some positivity and to fund raise. But more than anything I want to address the community and plea for them to stand up and say that enough is enough. I will no longer ignore the kid in the neighbourhood who I know is falling through cracks, I will no longer not alert someone when I lose control of my own child, I will no longer be a victim of fear, and I will no longer allow others to dictate how I live.

For those of you who don't know me or what I do, I am a writer who has dedicated his life to working with At-risk and homeless youth all over the G.T.A. and I have started "The Josh Project" which is specifically created to help all youth become successful adults. To find out more, please visit www.joshuastern.ca and you can click on "The Josh Project" and "Marion's Place" headings to see more about what we hope to accomplish!

Something to think about!

In what I would like to call my latest conquest, we successfully removed a 21 year old young lady from a very abusive relationship, where she was also far from all her friends and family. Essentially this predator had managed to basically isolate this girl from everything she once knew and from that point he had control. He got her hooked on hard drugs and from there she was putty in his devilish hands.

The first time I met this couple they barley spoke to me and I made a point of singling out the girl because there was something about her that kept calling out to me. I got the overwhelming feeling that she had so much to say but she couldn't. Slowly but surely she began to share her story and she talked about becoming a shelter kid from the time she was 13 until presently. One of the reasons she was still in a shelter was because she followed her boyfriend, who wasn't ready yet to kick his drug habit, get a job, and put his life back together. It was at our first meeting, while her boyfriend had passed out on the table, that I looked her squarely in the eyes and asked her why she was in a relationship with someone that is physically abusive. She nearly shit herself I'm pretty sure, and her facial expression said it all.

I asked her to seriously think about where she wants to be, who she wants to be, and what she hopes to accomplish in life. I then asked her to to tell me if she saw her boyfriend fitting into any aspect of that, and lastly I asked her if she felt that she deserved to be abused. I gave her one of my cards and I told her that I'm always available to talk, and if she needs my help in making a plan to move forward I was ready. I honestly didn't think I would hear from her at all, let alone just 10 days later. It's a moment I doubt I'll forget. I was with my son at my brother's house and my phone rang with a blocked number, which I assumed was someone from the shelter, and when I picked up this scared and timid little voice spoke up. After identifying herself and explaining to me that the staff thought it was a good idea that she call me, she said the following,

     "I'm tired of being hit and beat up by my boyfriend, can you help me?"

To say I had tears in my eyes would be a bit of an understatement, but I was so overwhelmed with joy it was incredible. I was so proud of her for saying that out loud, and I was truly honoured that she chose me to share this breakthrough with! I told her that she should know how amazingly brave she was for speaking out, and for deciding she had enough. We came up with a plan to meet a couple of days later and we would come up with a plan to get her away.

When we met up a few days later I was very happy to hear that he was at another shelter and he wasn't allowed at the shelter she was staying at, it made things very simple. That day we made a plan to go back to her hometown, we arranged for a bed at a local shelter while she finds a place to stay, and she is already enrolling in school and other positive programs. Not to mention she is more than 2 months clean and sober. We got her out that day and she hasn't looked back.

The funniest, or most ironic part of all this is that all too often people ask me what I get paid for my services. When I tell them I don't get paid their facial expressions typically change. I just assume those people don't get it and I just smile and move on. Let's be real for a second, could any amount of money be better than the satisfaction of saving someone? It really doesn't take much and I believe it's something we can all do. We must lend a hand wherever it can be used. An hour a week and you could provide so much for so many kids in need. What if it was your kid? 

Tories Slash 36 million in funding for Young Offenders

I was so overwhelmed by emotion when I read the following article that I had to post about it! The original article can be found here:

http://bit.ly/NiCvbb.

Essentially the Tories have slashed funding for the supervision and rehabilitation of Young Offenders. It equates to $36 million in cuts and if your heads aren't shaking I don't know what else to say.

For starters, Beth Alkenbrack, a social worker, had the following to say:

            “It costs less than $10,000 a year to service a youth with me, and if they’re in a youth justice custody facility, it’s going to cost a minimum of $150,000 a year.”

If this is an accurate portrayal of the cost differential I am once again speechless. How could it possibly be so? I know first hand that the majority of the work I do with homeless and at-risk youth is all charitable work at this point, and the impact that we have had thus far is incredible. The most amazing part is the only person it cost was me, and it could only be measured in time!

What if we actually had greater ties to the community, and what if we had more volunteers from within that community that decided it was time to make a difference. Do we really not have an hour a week? That is all it would take to make a difference. Spending some quality time with a youngster who has been isolated and alone. Someone who is afraid. What typically do we expect from young children who are essentially little animals who are let out of cages? If we have youngsters that are devout of trust and support from the adults in their lives, the results are some very under equipped and very scared youths. Have you ever tried to coax a young puppy out of its hiding spot? Have you ever seen a kitten back itself into a corner while hissing? That's because they are unsure and lacking trust! Why is it so difficult for us to understand that the same thing happens to our children? We are tossing our children aside and labelling them as at-risk, or mentally challenged just because they are scared? When a child is scared shouldn't we expect them to act like an animal and gnarl there teeth, puff their chests out, and try to look as intimidating and scary as possible.

In reality that is all they are doing, they are trying to show you their strength based on things they have seen, when in actuality they are begging you to come and put your arm around them, and ask them if they are ok. Remember that hissing kitten I referred to, well I bet that most of us who encounter this scenario are very patient, very calm, and we wait until that kitten is ready. How come when we see a child do this, our reaction is more along the lines of asking them once to come out, and then most likely insulting them and walking away? "Fine, you want to be a scared little baby, enjoy your time, see you when you come out." Does that sound more familiar or typical to you?

How do we expect anything to get better while we continue to sit by and watch as our children just fall through the cracks? This is the time when we need more funding, more volunteers, more education, and more programming to deal with our growing population and increased demand. Yet instead we are making cuts. Is this the government you support? Maybe you don't care because you don't have kids, maybe you don't care because you think your kids won't ever become at-risk, or maybe its just that you aren't even aware? Whatever the case may be, I implore you to try a different route. If it's not close enough to home yet, why not look at a young kid from the neighbourhood, or a family members child, and recognize how easily their world could get flipped upside down in a matter of moments. I bet you'd care if your son was in a car at the wrong time, and with the wrong people, and he was charged with all the others. I'm pretty sure you would want as much funding as possible for your child who now has to be rehabilitated because the court system and society has labeled him!

Here are a few of my favourite highlights from the article:

This $36-million cut was not highlighted in the recent federal budget. It was not discussed with the agencies that provide these important services to troubled youth. Provincial ministers, who are the federal government’s partners in keeping Canada safe, were not consulted. The cut was made public last week in an announcement masquerading as good news.

“The government of Canada announces continued support to youth justice services,” the official news release stated. Sounds good. Too bad that $141.7 million in annual funding is a 20 per cent reduction in spending. Calling a cut “continued support” is misleading, at best.

Cutting this funding is a short-sighted policy. That, unfortunately, makes it typical of the Harper government’s approach to battling crime. Rather than spend $10,000 to provide high-risk youth with the counselling and support that can keep them on the straight and narrow, the government seems to prefer to spend more than $110,000 to lock them up.

I would like to think we are getting to the point where we are actually starting to be a lot more aware of our surroundings and people are not so easily misled. It's time we come together as a community again and determine what is right and what is wrong for us and our families. The worst part about it is that the majority of us probably don't even know about these cuts. We need to do better, we need to show our children that to err is human, to forgive is divine! Not only that, but as humans we were made to make mistakes, and if I've said it once, I'll say it a million times, we are not defined by how many mistakes we make, we are defined by what we do after!

As always I encourage your comments and support on these issues!

Spooky Magic Part II

Due to the overwhelming response and the overwhelming emotions that accompanied it, I was forced to write some more on the spooky magic topic. I have been preaching the power of love and positive energy, to anyone that would listen, for over a year and a half, but the funny thing is that I was devout of it in many ways! So even while I knew its importance, and while I practiced incorporating it to my daily routine, something was still missing.

I had love from my son, and I had some love from family, but as we all know, it's not the same. Out of nowhere love and positivity has grabbed hold of me and I can't get loose. I'm pretty sure I don't know that I'd want too either! There is an extra bounce to my step, I have been smiling non-stop for almost a week, my creative juices are flowing like never before, and I am totally on cloud nine. Everyone around me has noticed something, and the ones who are in the know are literally trying to avoid me because they can't take anymore of my giddiness.

If I preached it before I'm not sure what to do next, because if I knew love and positivity ruled before, this is on a whole other level. So here it is for all of you, IF YOU DON'T HAVE LOVE AND POSITIVITY IN YOUR LIFE, YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING WRONG!!!! Go and get some!

Now before you all throw something at me, or get all upset, I don't mean sex, nor do I mean go out and manufacture these things. What I mean is that there is plenty of love and positive energy out there waiting for each and every one of us. The problem is we are too caught up, too distracted, and too doubtful. How many of you can be honest and tell me that you think about money or your job, more than you think about love and being positive? I know I did. I also know that I have been on a life long quest for the best love and as much positivity as one can find. I don't know if it's a quest that will ever end, but it definitely sounds like a worth while one to me.

To summarize, instead of coming home and worrying, instead of always being so overwhelmed with everything, why not try to find some love and positivity, why not find a way to turn that frown into a smile. You'd be surprised how easy it can truly be. You can start by picking up the phone and calling a friend you haven't spoke to in a while, and instead of thinking about what they will say, if they will pick up, or any other negative thoughts, just call them and tell them how much you miss talking to them, and how important and special they are to you. You will be floored by the response and even more so you will be floored by the way it makes you feel. Take the first step, let people know you are looking for love and positivity, if you make that your mantra, you may just find that loneliness and negativity need to find a new friend!

Last but not least, if you need a little love or positive energy and you can't find any, don't give up, contact me, I will be what you need.

I can be reached through comment here, or at joshua@joshuastern.ca, or twitter @JoshuasJourney, or even Facebook, Joshua Stern/Writer fan page!

Hope to hear from you!

A little bit of "Spooky" magic!

This past week has been chalked full of some very strange occurrences in my life and the lives of people connected to me, and so I decided to blog about the effect it has had on me.

In keeping with one of my main themes, I truly believe that we are all connected, and this Universe is a vast and wondrous thing that we truly know so little about. In an attempt to increase your personal level of consciousness, I want to ask you if you can clearly pinpoint events in your life that were so strange, so erie, so out of nowhere, so spooky, that something or someone else had to be involved? Perhaps a little magic?

I believe that the more we start paying attention to moments such as these, and the more we can allow ourselves to be open to the idea that our world sends us signs and signals everyday, the better our worlds will truly be. For the past year and a half I have gone out of my way to be a student again, a student of life. I am re-learning how to "smell the roses"or take in a beautiful sunset. Because this time around they have new and even more special meaning. I spent so many years forgetting to stop and smell the roses that it became a distant memory. I was living life like a robot and I had forgotten how important it is to live!

As I eluded to earlier, this past week has been a roller coaster of emotions and happenings, and I am fortunate that I have been practicing living again or else I probably wouldn't have been able to take it all in stride. The amazing part is that out of nowhere and through a very strange medium, I have met an incredible individual. It's truly spooky where this person came from, and how they reached out to me. But the truly amazing part is how when I ignored all my fears, and stopped listening to negative voices, I was able to reach back. I am so glad that I did. I have met a kindred spirit from half way across the world. The connection is so real, the communication is effortless, and the feeling I have inside is truly hard to describe. I'm basically giddy like a little school boy again.

I have been thinking about it a lot lately, how it all came together, and when I lay out all the events in a timeline, so to speak, it is pretty unreal how many signs I picked up on and decided to investigate which led me to here! Even as the majority of my being tried to dissuade me, and my anxious mind started coming up with negative expectations, I decided to power through and ignore my feeble mind. Especially with age we lose our ability to "dive in" to things, everything becomes calculated and analyzed to the point of insanity. You know what I'm talking about, you meet someone, and before you even give it a chance to get somewhere you tell yourself all the reasons why it won't work, thus stopping you from even pursuing the beginning. Its ridiculous and something I have been guilty of for so long.

I'm glad that I continue to do the opposite these days because it has brought me so much positivity it's hard to fathom. My latest spooky and magical experience has only reminded me how incredible life can truly be when we start to just throw caution into the wind, and believe a little in the power of this awesome universe.

Maybe you can share some of your magical moments with me, I'd really like that.