In what I would like to call my latest conquest, we successfully removed a 21 year old young lady from a very abusive relationship, where she was also far from all her friends and family. Essentially this predator had managed to basically isolate this girl from everything she once knew and from that point he had control. He got her hooked on hard drugs and from there she was putty in his devilish hands.
The first time I met this couple they barley spoke to me and I made a point of singling out the girl because there was something about her that kept calling out to me. I got the overwhelming feeling that she had so much to say but she couldn't. Slowly but surely she began to share her story and she talked about becoming a shelter kid from the time she was 13 until presently. One of the reasons she was still in a shelter was because she followed her boyfriend, who wasn't ready yet to kick his drug habit, get a job, and put his life back together. It was at our first meeting, while her boyfriend had passed out on the table, that I looked her squarely in the eyes and asked her why she was in a relationship with someone that is physically abusive. She nearly shit herself I'm pretty sure, and her facial expression said it all.
I asked her to seriously think about where she wants to be, who she wants to be, and what she hopes to accomplish in life. I then asked her to to tell me if she saw her boyfriend fitting into any aspect of that, and lastly I asked her if she felt that she deserved to be abused. I gave her one of my cards and I told her that I'm always available to talk, and if she needs my help in making a plan to move forward I was ready. I honestly didn't think I would hear from her at all, let alone just 10 days later. It's a moment I doubt I'll forget. I was with my son at my brother's house and my phone rang with a blocked number, which I assumed was someone from the shelter, and when I picked up this scared and timid little voice spoke up. After identifying herself and explaining to me that the staff thought it was a good idea that she call me, she said the following,
"I'm tired of being hit and beat up by my boyfriend, can you help me?"
To say I had tears in my eyes would be a bit of an understatement, but I was so overwhelmed with joy it was incredible. I was so proud of her for saying that out loud, and I was truly honoured that she chose me to share this breakthrough with! I told her that she should know how amazingly brave she was for speaking out, and for deciding she had enough. We came up with a plan to meet a couple of days later and we would come up with a plan to get her away.
When we met up a few days later I was very happy to hear that he was at another shelter and he wasn't allowed at the shelter she was staying at, it made things very simple. That day we made a plan to go back to her hometown, we arranged for a bed at a local shelter while she finds a place to stay, and she is already enrolling in school and other positive programs. Not to mention she is more than 2 months clean and sober. We got her out that day and she hasn't looked back.
The funniest, or most ironic part of all this is that all too often people ask me what I get paid for my services. When I tell them I don't get paid their facial expressions typically change. I just assume those people don't get it and I just smile and move on. Let's be real for a second, could any amount of money be better than the satisfaction of saving someone? It really doesn't take much and I believe it's something we can all do. We must lend a hand wherever it can be used. An hour a week and you could provide so much for so many kids in need. What if it was your kid?
The first time I met this couple they barley spoke to me and I made a point of singling out the girl because there was something about her that kept calling out to me. I got the overwhelming feeling that she had so much to say but she couldn't. Slowly but surely she began to share her story and she talked about becoming a shelter kid from the time she was 13 until presently. One of the reasons she was still in a shelter was because she followed her boyfriend, who wasn't ready yet to kick his drug habit, get a job, and put his life back together. It was at our first meeting, while her boyfriend had passed out on the table, that I looked her squarely in the eyes and asked her why she was in a relationship with someone that is physically abusive. She nearly shit herself I'm pretty sure, and her facial expression said it all.
I asked her to seriously think about where she wants to be, who she wants to be, and what she hopes to accomplish in life. I then asked her to to tell me if she saw her boyfriend fitting into any aspect of that, and lastly I asked her if she felt that she deserved to be abused. I gave her one of my cards and I told her that I'm always available to talk, and if she needs my help in making a plan to move forward I was ready. I honestly didn't think I would hear from her at all, let alone just 10 days later. It's a moment I doubt I'll forget. I was with my son at my brother's house and my phone rang with a blocked number, which I assumed was someone from the shelter, and when I picked up this scared and timid little voice spoke up. After identifying herself and explaining to me that the staff thought it was a good idea that she call me, she said the following,
"I'm tired of being hit and beat up by my boyfriend, can you help me?"
To say I had tears in my eyes would be a bit of an understatement, but I was so overwhelmed with joy it was incredible. I was so proud of her for saying that out loud, and I was truly honoured that she chose me to share this breakthrough with! I told her that she should know how amazingly brave she was for speaking out, and for deciding she had enough. We came up with a plan to meet a couple of days later and we would come up with a plan to get her away.
When we met up a few days later I was very happy to hear that he was at another shelter and he wasn't allowed at the shelter she was staying at, it made things very simple. That day we made a plan to go back to her hometown, we arranged for a bed at a local shelter while she finds a place to stay, and she is already enrolling in school and other positive programs. Not to mention she is more than 2 months clean and sober. We got her out that day and she hasn't looked back.
The funniest, or most ironic part of all this is that all too often people ask me what I get paid for my services. When I tell them I don't get paid their facial expressions typically change. I just assume those people don't get it and I just smile and move on. Let's be real for a second, could any amount of money be better than the satisfaction of saving someone? It really doesn't take much and I believe it's something we can all do. We must lend a hand wherever it can be used. An hour a week and you could provide so much for so many kids in need. What if it was your kid?
Josh, what an amazing story! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sara, I appreciate your comment. Just doing what I can.
ReplyDelete